Well. What a nasty weekend.

My philosophy on stepkid discipline is this: I say NOTHING unless bad behavior is directly affecting me or my personal belongings. This means that 98% of the time I stay quiet and let DH yell, hound, scold, whatever. DH has a lot of things that bug him, so he spends a lot of time doing the aforementioned (he is way more easily annoyed than I am).

BUT...in the rare moments when a skid is doing something that really bugs me and I gently ask them to stop, DH regularly defends his kid, telling me WHY he thinks that it is ok for them to continue doing whatever it was that was annoying me.

Two examples: SS7 was popping bubble wrap by jumping hard on it. I asked him to stop because it was really loud and annoying (and early in the AM -- I'm sure our downstairs neighbor wanted us dead). SS7 is always pushing the envelope when asked to stop doing something, and so he asked if he could keep popping it with a pen instead of jumping. I sweetly said no, please just stop. DH jumps in, telling me it won't be loud if he uses a pen and I should let it go.

Later, SS5 was playing with our candlesticks by banging them hard into our glass table. This table is all scratched up already, and the candlesticks are fragile so I asked her to stop. DH said, "She is just trying to help!" Banging resumed.

I get so angry and frustrated when DH corrects me, especially in front of the kids. I feel like another kid in the family! More than that, I feel like it is a team of three against me, and that I have no authority at all.

When I talk to DH about it, he agrees that he shouldn't correct me but says he feels like I don't realize that the kids aren't doing anything "wrong." This is coming from a man who spent a good chunk of the day screaming at the same kids for making banging noises, throwing books, and shouting.

It is causing huge fights with us, and it makes me feel like a total outsider in my own home. In a lot of ways, I am an unpaid, unappreciated babysitter. Just a rough weekend.