Im confused...
I have two children from a previous relationship. When i got married to my current husband i knew of his daughter and we would get her every other weekend and he pays child support and provides everything she needs such as clothing, shoes, etc. His ex drives me crazy..she has 4 total children (only one belong to my husband) and he is the only father involved in her children's lives. Her other baby's fathers are either unknown or not supportive at all. Her last child came after her and my husband seperated, she is now 4 months old. Well I'm pregnant with our first child together and she recently found out. So just the other day she called him the other day with a sad story:
She said she lost her job and child support from him isnt enough! Of course, because out of the four children she has he is the only one that pays! But she wants him to take his daughter full time until she can get back on her feet! I hate the fact that she picked and chose the children she wanted to give away. She is keeping her other children but wants to give away one. I dont feel that any mother should do that. I certainly will never do that under any cicumstances. I was a single mother before with two children and i struggled but i will never give my children away. But the differance between her and i and that she is not single. She lives with a boyfriend, who i assume isnt helping her since she told my husband she can not afford my step-daughter. I honestly think she is doing this because she knows im pregant and wants us to take care of her responsibilities.
Im kinda stressed out knowing we just added his daughter to our family plus one more of our own!
From the times that we had my step-daugter on the weekends before she has called to talk to her on the phone (she was only 1 when i met my husband). She calls my husband with all her sad stories of being broke, and sometimes i feel that he has symphathy for her. Even though when they were together she cheated and tried to put him in jail many times for lies! I dont like her and i dont trust her. Do you think that having our step-daughter live with us (now she is 3) is in the best interest of her? Do you think it will cause problems in the future? Please i need advice. Thanks.
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I know it sucks for you, but
I know it sucks for you, but when you get involved with a father, that's the chance you have to take. Just because his kids aren't with him when you first meet, does not mean they will never be with him full time.
If DH gets his daughter, he needs to make it legal. He should not get his girl and continue to pay child support.
My advice is to treat her well (as you should any child), and do not do anything, ANYTHING, without a court order. Don't allow the BM to take advantage of any 'trust' that may be there. DH needs to secure his rights through the court.
it sounds to me like the
it sounds to me like the reason you got "picked" as the pawn off is because she doesn't have a choice with the other kids... if the fathers are unknown and unsupportive. what kind of surprises me is that your DH's CS is her gravy train, so it's kind of shocking that she is willing to give that up.. or does she think your DH will continue to give her money when he has kid?? I would make it clear that is NOT going to happen wayyy up front!