Ghetto step mom
Six months ago, SD 20, called me "ghetto" in front of her father. He made her leave our house but 30 minutes later she returns saying that "it's her house, too." Arguments ensue and I let her know that she is no longer a child and if she continues to name call, etc that she will lose the protection of "just a kid." Sd 20, receives no consequence for this episode beyond a " you shouldn't speak to SM like that" lecture. I can't forget or forgive this incident. At first, I was angry with SD 20, but now.. it's DH. He allowed all this to happen, without consequence. I saw a divorce attorney who was very clear about the road forward if I choose divorce. I'm not sure I have any choice because I'm 52 years old and I want some small happiness in my life. I have tried to talk to DH but he prefers to say that I am a terrible person for " hating his daughter." DH refuses to put any rules or consequences in place. I don't want to age becoming bitter and resentful.
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I don't want to age becoming
I don't want to age becoming bitter and resentful.
Then do what you need to do. Nobody here would blame you. Life is too short to put up with a life of resentment, caused by your partner, who is supposed to be supportive of you.
Leave his ass. You still have
Leave his ass. You still have a lot of life left to live. Spend it feeling peaceful and happy, not resentful and bitter.
In your profile it says you
In your profile it says you have a job you love - that's great! It means you can leave this awful knobhead who insults you just because you dislike a person who calls you horrible names, and won't put any rules or boundaries in place to prevent it happening again. I left my first husband in my 40s and have never regretted it. 52 is not so old - I am 10 yrs older than you - you have potentially many years ahead of you and like you say - it would be nice to spend those in peace with hopefully some happiness. Let's face it - you won't get any where you are.
Disengaging
Oh my girl, you don't hafta feel this way. The adult child is not your responsibility!
It was hard for me. But disengaging has saved my life. And taught me to love myself!
If feel better. My SO backed off and well I'm doing better!
Don't let them win! Only you are in control of how you feel. If it bothers you???? Go for a walk try some art read a book or just relax! It drives them nuts!
You could have 40 more years
You could have 40 more years to live, and you can find happiness without him or any man.
Don't put up with this nonsense. At 20 she shouldn't even be living there anymore, much less allowed to treat you like dirt.
What did the attorney say about "the road forward"? If you don't have kids together, it should be pretty straightforward.
Don't let your age be a
Don't let your age be a factor as to living a happy and fulfilling life. You have a lot of life in you and should be d@mned if you have to live with two disrespectful people who don't value you. Your H can live his life with the mini wife and see how he likes being controlled by her.
Live your best life OP and know that there is bigger and better out there that you so rightfully deserve!
If you stay this Is how it’s going to be
SD will be number. One and in control. No one blames you for leaving. No one can live like this. Where the SD is place above the adult in the relationship. A child is bonded to the father by birth. A relationship has to be always sork on. He is not working on his relationship with you. That is no epway to live
(((HUGS))))
(((HUGS))))
Sounds obvious
For those telling you to disengage, that's hard to do when an adult storms into your house and calls you names. And disengaging - if you even could - wouldn't change what you know about the person you married. You now know he'll allow an adult to come into YOUR home, claim it as hers, and mistreat you in it. You also know he'll blame you for that. I think it's obvious. Cut your losses, and seek something better. Life is too short.