M

I would probably be pissed and annoyed for the very reasons that you are. It is NOT her business to be the messenger for the goings on in HIS family. It would be one thing if he were estranged from his family and she were closer as some family's still treat the BM as family. Doesn't seem like the case here though.

Maybe she just wanted to speak with him on the sly and try to come off as being thoughtful and helpful. Sometimes a person is so caught up in their own selfish means that they don't really consider the options which in her case would be that OH he already knows since he called and told SS. When my kids bring news to me I ask "Where did you hear that from?" More to consider the source of what they are sharing. Clearly had she do this she would have discovered that DH already KNEW. Which begs to question if she DID know this why then did she feel the need to call? All in all the motives behind most of these BMs is suspenseful at best so I wouldn't worry your head even though I know it is frustrating.

Don't be mad at DH either though. As much as we would like for them to go off on the BMs sometimes it is not worth it. I think he did a good job of getting the information and getting off the phone. He does no one any favors in the future by being hostile with her right now. No I am not saying that he needs to bow to her. I am just saying that it solves nothing. Now if she begins calling him like this constantly, THEN I would make issue with it. Maybe and I do me JUST maybe that she thought she was doing something nice.

I know for me it is to the point where it doesn't matter WHAT our BM is calling for I get instantly irratated when I find it is her. I am working on that though because that shows me that she still has the power to push my buttons. Probably more so in that our BM is never calling with simple news to share she is normally calling to try and upset our apple cart AND I must sadly admit that she throws me off kilter. For me I want to get to the place where I do not react either way to her "news or sayings." I want to be ina place where she is emotionally dead to me. I've gotten much better, but I still have a ways to go on that. Prayers please. Just remember this...She is not worth it. She will always try to do or say things that will get under your skin and when she does her mission is accomplished. Learn to NOT react to her because at the end of the day...DH is still your DH and what she says is not going to have any real bearing on your relationship.

Just because one opens her legs twice, does not a mother make! ~ ME ~ }:-P

Our BM did that too, had to get on the phone when DH was talking to SD and give him an update about DH's family member who had just had surgery. DUH, he talks to MIL every day.
We have the same set-up, with BM and all of DH's family living in another state. Makes it easier to live far away, as she is a fixture at everything. Never really understood that as MIL and SILS weren't close to her before the divorce. She wasn't very engaged in their family gatherings (showed up that's all). But since the divorce...The kids are old enough (16 and 20) to attend things on their own but no she has to bring them. My nasty SIL made it clear that BM took precedence as I'm "not blood" she is cause she popped out kids, I guess. (the sacred vessel ha ha) On the other hand, I can see being courteous and not cutting her off entirely, I'm not that spiteful. But when she turned up uninvited to (and stayed at) DH's small private HS reunion party last year, boy were we disgusted.
I've been divorced and I never attended any of my ex's family things, my DD would go with him. Never even crossed my mind.
I find it pathetic and they all deserve each other far as I am concerned.

I have remained very close to my ex mother in law from my first marriage..I kinda kept his family and divorced him..He was the problem they were not..She visits us as often as possible and actually spent two weeks with us here at our home in Europe last year..

As for her son, on the other hand, I haven't spoken to him in over three years and neither has either of our daughters. He ditched them for the SM and her kids years ago...His mom thinks he is a creep for that but we don't talk about it or him..We formed a mother/daughter relationship and bond years ago that has nothing to do with her son...

If something was to happen to a member of his family I would know it before he did. However, it would be a cold day in hell before I contacted him over that or for any reason. It isn't my place to do so and I don't want to talk to him anyway...

I think it's way out of line for the BM to be contacting your husband about issues with his own family under any circumstances...

that she is no longer part of their family and she is not welcome at any family events. My MIL has made it very clear to my DH ex-wife that she is not welcome in her home or at OUR family functions. After what BM did to DH I am surprised my MIL hasen't killed her yet. It is lucky for BM that MIL is a good Christian woman.

Be kinder than necessary to everyone! We all have our battles.

Melis girl - I just read your post and I think I actually gagged. UGGGHHHH!!!! Our BM used to be like this too because she acts like she was my FHs wife - which she never was. She is in the middle of everything that goes on in his family. She used to send him emails or call him ALL the time about stuff he already knew. I mean it is his family. If his dad was going to go to the hospital to get a test duh he already know. Makes me sick to my stomach how this woman get all up in everyone's business. They should have moved on a long time ago and they should worry about THEIR own families instead of trying to jack someone else. Take a deep breath! AAACK!