Thanks everyone I Love my BF alot. fought a little over the phone while texting. Im not good at venting aloud to often. I usually let it build to a boiling point, not good i know. for two days i didnt talk to him much at all wouldnt make eye contact after the let down of the pre approval. when he got home we talked a bit, i feel better know. Told him we need a set time everyday that they pick up their things around the livingroom and kitchen. They share a room thats the hardest part. They each have own dirty clothes basket and I have BF do the girls laundry and his work uniforms. I used to do girls clothes but when i was doing that plus house work and keeping up with may own laundry lol it got to be to much. Today he did dishes while i was at work he had his friend (old roomate) and his 2 girls over for breakfast. Im happy he did them now if he can get a clue that when trash can wont shut time to take out trash we'll be ok. Baby steps. As for money he said he was bad but, i had know idea till he overdrafted $400 dollars and had to pawn drum set to pay couple bills. little puchase of $2 was really like $20 $25. I have done it before also but not to that extent. I have his debit card most of the time know. We cant change his past im ganna try to hold on and help him into the future. As far as marriage goes....nope not for few years. The children thing i never wanted part of for myself something i have know for awhile. But when u love somone u love someone and the girls are part of him and i care for them as well. together the two can drive u nuts. Alone, when one is gone good as gold. Im just not used to their way of fighting with one another and the mess I have 4 neices and 4 siblings as well dont remember any of what im seeing here. The BF may not be to helpful round the house but he treats me with respect never raises voice to me looks me in the eye easily the only problem is his bad credit and messy kids. I hear my lil sis and her sis inlaw talk bout their new husbands and im like dang im lucky hes not trying to buy my love hes ther emotionally, he never makes me wonder hey do you know im here in a crowd of his frinds. in fact its like let me breath lol. its not all bed just need some ground rules around this small place in which we live. Im no maid and im used to being independent having two little girls depend on me not easy cooking, cleaning, making sure they take baths, etc. OH one bad bad thing 7yr old had ona pair of underwear for 3days ick and doesnt wipe i dont think cause went in bathroom and toilet not flushed and know t.p. in toilet. You can tell know constant women in their life this is stuff i get disapointed in my BF about not teaching basics. She is a stuborn little girl I have told her several times bout clean underpants and to wipe. Guess i need to read parenting books. Anyway any advice or comments I appriciate. I want to be a good female rolemodle they have not had one except for grandma and shes little nuts lol.