We have, well I had to force my FH to. I am afraid my FH is very stubborn and strongly feels that counseling is not going to work. After lots of bickering he accepted. I simply told him look our approach is not working so i did a little research called the insurance psychologist and made the appt. I have to be honest third session has happened and every single time the lady keeps having to look at the computer to remember who we are and she keeps asking when is your court date and I keep repeating we dont have a date we simply want SS to a) get some help with the way he is feeling b) get some more self esteem because he has very low self esteem c) he is acting up and jeez i can go through the whole abcs to accomplish what I would like to see happen. So we have decided that maybe we can switch to someone else. PErhaps she is not doing what i hope to get from counseling. I also looked up and there are some parenting classes because discipline is an issue a huge one. I feel awful and this is where i am the eveil stepmother becuase I feel like i am the only one who is setting rules. I have read several books and have found that consistency helps in parenting so ever since coming the pic bedtime has been established and yes now we dont argue every time we have to get him ready for school. and i have also managed to make him understand he is old enough to pick up his dish after a meal and to pick up his shoes or dress himself becuase he didnt think that was his job before. As for the SS mother she is in the picture not a very good pic. She has SS 80 and we have 20 or every wed and every other weekend. there is lots of drama there and even though i dont expect us to be the best of friends i would like to see SS not cringe every time his parents speak or come in contact with each other somehow. i know it must be very hard for him to see that. I have tried to make my FH understand that that chapter is over and that they both need to grow up and see that SS needs them to coparent but i have not managed to do that. SS mother is quite a piece of work she had three children total all dif dads and the oldest has no dad in pic. my FH was the closest thing the older brother had when he was married to SS mom but had but my FH never go to bond with him the way he would have liked then ss came to the pic and well 4 years later divorce came.. it is really hard though we give her a child support check that is sufficient yes she wants more and sadly enough SS has not gotten a new pair of shoes from her end ever since i came in the pic. SS's shoes could be rotting or ripped and she doesnt give a sh--t ripped clothes oversized clothes, way too small underwear sometimes no socks at all. we get him uniforms for school backpack school supplies reg clothes on top of the monthly check becuase we know that money is not invested in SS. I am so emotionally drained. I feel as though all this time i have done cartwheels attended school meetings met with teacher bonded with his classmates attended school activities. looked for extracurricular activities for him i have done nothing but lived for this child only to feel like i am rejected by him in every way possible. i am considering counseling for myself since i have started to feel depressed and i feel like a failure. i have considered giving up and i think that is a possibility that i have to keep in mind should my persistence run out. Trust me i am a very persistent person but i am also aware that somethings are sometimes not mean to be. my current goal is to go to counseling for SS with FH, parenting classes for me and FH and counseling for me. I have told my FH i am no longer in charge of discipline it is simply too much and i am not getting any respect from SS and it is causing me to feel awful. so i hope to