It's been a while, had to put my head down and just keep moving for a long time because reflection was too distracting and my misery does not love company but it worked.

Disconnection and re-establishing autonomy was the best thing I ever did. It's sad that I don't have a partner and I think that's what so many of us here are really mourning deep down. Facts are facts though, it's them against me regardless of what I do and that will never change.

It's my world, not theirs. They don't do anything for me except take but I stopped that. It's hard to not slip into letting my heart get tied up in some hurt or mess when they have troubles but the memories of a thousand times getting spit in the face for acting on love make it easy as pie. It doesn't even feel mean, it reminds me of pearls before swine. The pigs don't get it, they never will understand either. Only another step parent in the same situations will ever understand what it's been like.