DH Grew a Set of Balls!
Long story short. BM got married and moved 35 miles away but kept skids at the school in our neighborhood 3 years ago. She has been making OSS drive fatass Skid to school since he was 16.
OSS left for college last year and is home now for the summer. BM is too damn lazy to drive fatass to school every day so she makes OSS do it. When OSS19 was in high school he did not have class for the last 4 months of school because he finished all his classes. She would still make him drive fat ass to school. So even on our days off he would drop off fatass and then head here at 7:00 am and then would stay here allllll day until he had to pick fatass up at 3:15. OSS would leave messes all day and watch cartoon on full volume every single day. I was beside myself! I never got a break. Not even one day. While BM who does not have a job, got a nice quiet relaxing day all to herself EVER SINGLE day at MY EXPENSE!
I was soooo pissed about this situation I brought it up to the counselor several times last Summer. I wanted a divorce and this situation played a part in it. The counselor told my DH, not your day, not your problem DO NOT LET HER DO THAT TO YOU ANYMORE! Well, me, not him. He was at work.
Soooo, this year rolls around OSS is out of college for the summer and heads here. Guess who doesn't want to drive her son to school every day. So again she makes OSS be the parent and drive him and expect to stay here all day. I told my DH that if that happened I really would divorce him this time. It's not right to let him be here all day while she get all that time off again.
We fought like cats and dogs, but IT FINALLY HAPPENED! He finally told the kids NO! And that their Mother has been causing a lot of stress and grief in our family because she shoves her responsibilities onto everyone else. HE TOLD THEM she was a "Golden Uterus" and was wreaking havoc in our family. He took them aside and told them they are no longer welcome here on our days off. That they needed to drive back to her house on her days. I know it sounds harsh, but how much can one gal take!? Why should I keep making horsefaced BM's life easier at MY EXPENSE. It ain't gunna happen ever again, no matter what.
Ever since OSS was 16 not only did he drive fatass to school she also made him take him to all his doctor and dentist appointments. She would make them on OUR days for 9 years. When fatass was 15 I refused to do another thing for BM ever again.
BM has taken advantage of me since I had to quit my job 6 years ago due to severe illness. She would just drop them off all the freaking time even when it was not our days and my DH never stood up for me. He just let her. Here I was sick as hell with a collapsed lung and 30% capacity stuck with 2 young kids because she wanted to go play. I had them HUNDREDS and HUNDREDS of days above an beyond our CO. She has never, even ONE TIME taken them for an extra day. I hate her for this and I hate my DH for not defending me or giving me a break.
He is starting to now and we are getting a lawyer to make sure she helps pay for college tuition, but these years have been miserable beyond belief.
My DH knows I really will divorce him if he doesn't stop BM for shitting all over our family and demanding her way.
Hell, she even tried to get us to take fatassSS16 Monday - Saturday so she didn't have to drive so far to take her own child to school and of course still wanted her child support. I said nooooo way to that one! Dumb ass, balless DH considered it!
Anyway, he is slowly growing balls. But at a cost to our relationship. I no longer adore him like I used to. Sometimes I even hate his guts for all the things he and his asshole BM and kids have done to me.....especially since I've been so ill these past 5 years. I'm just now getting better these past 6 months.
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Comments
Fatass SS16 has his drivers
Fatass SS16 has his drivers license and drove a handful of times to school, but he crashed the car on his 3rd trip to school into another students car. Of course he is on our insurance and not hers so we had to deal with everything.... insurance deductible, getting both cars towed and fixed, etc while she lived in her happy, oblivious life.
They are both sharing OSS19 vehicle for a month or two. DH offered to make it easier by letting OSS19 borrow HIS vehicle so fatassSS16 could drive himself to school while Horefaced, lazy, money grubbing whore gets let off the hook again and everything becomes our problem as usual. I said NO F'ING WAY! She can drive her child to school and you can drive your vehicle to work!
My DH has always bent over backwards to please her, but I won't have it anymore because it always affects me negatively. I always end up having to do or pay something because she can't be bothered.
It stresses me out beyond my coping capabilities. I've put up with her lazy bullshit and me having to pay the consquences for waaaaay too may years. If it affects me, it won't be allowed to happen unless DH wants to find himself in another costly divorce.
"And that their Mother has
"And that their Mother has been causing a lot of stress and grief in our family because she shoves her responsibilities onto everyone else. HE TOLD THEM she was a "Golden Uterus" and was wreaking havoc in our family."
He should have just said no and used the John Rosemond phrase "because I said so" and stuck with his decision instead. I can understand the temptation to bash bm but it almost always backfires.
Well, the one he told is
Well, the one he told is almost 20 and an adult. He needs to know why he cannot come here anymore on our days off. I told him, it's not about them, it's about their Mother.
We have never once in almost 10 years said we couldn't take them for any reason ever. And when go on vacation we PRE-PAY her the days that should have been ours.
Keep in mind, she has never had them a day extra.... in almost 10 freaking years.
They are her kids - NOT MINE. And believe you me, she tells them all the time I'm not their Mom, so she needs to stop pushing them off on me so she can enjoy her kid free time.
I've told my DH to tell them it's because I said so, but he is also the ultimate pushover with his children. They never get punished for anything and I mean anything. Even things that would leave your jaw hanging open.
Last year when OSS was unable
Last year when OSS was unable to takeFatass SS to school she just wouldn't take him at all. He missed 9 school days due to this and my DH never even confronted her about it.
All the woman has to do in life is be a mother and she can't even to that. She is the epitomy of a Golden Uterus. The article had to have been written about her.
Thanks, This has been almost
Thanks,
This has been almost 10 years in the making and my DH has never told her no until about 7 months ago when she wanted us to take the youngest one all week so we could drive him to school and still get her CS.
We are supposed to have them 50/50 but it has never been that way. She has found a way to push them on me an extra 3 or 4 days a week until 7 months ago.
This woman is supposed to pay half of all expenses and has yet to pay a cent. She even sends the kids here the night before school with no school supplies or clothes. She does this every year and then we are FORCED to do it.
All of this is also my DH's fault for never standing up to her.
I'm not so sure I have any
I'm not so sure I have any positive feelings for him any more. I mainly feel resentment and anger.
He doesn't seem to understand where to lay blame. When BM tries to force something on me and I resist he will get mad at ME for being upset about the situation and not HER for causing the situation.
When the kids were little and faked being sick - or were sick - they would call her first. Well of course she would never answer her phone so they would call my DH who in turn would call me and demand I go get them even when it was not our day. So, here I was sick as hell with a collapsed lung and pneumonia being forced to go get the kids out of school and keep them all day.
She has never told me thank you and even has the gull to call our house and yell at me that I'm a gold digging whore and so jealous of her and other ridiculous nonsense and my balless DH never confronts her about that or demands respect for me. He used to tell ME to deal with it.
The good news is that the counselor set him straight on that one.
I have been day dreaming a lot of leaving him. I don't think I will ever adore him again. Even when the kids are gone and Horseface is out of our lives.
I've been used and abused for far too long.