My husband and I have been together for 4 years. The only times we fight is over his 2 teenage sons. We went from having them 100% of the time,  down to 50% of the time.

The oldest is pretty well behaved. He has behavioral problems in school, which we are trying to deal with (BioMom works against us on this as well). But at home, he keeps his room clean and takes pretty good care of our farm animals when he is here. 

The youngest is 13. He and I used to be pretty close. He even asked to call me Mom. I discouraged it (even though at the time he refused to see his BM) I told him to come up with something else to call me, as I didn't want to further upset her. We decided he should just call me by my name. 

BM is constantly taking us back to court. Over the last year, the youngest SS has turned into "Mini Mom". He and Mom gang up on his older brother and treat him horribly. If there is an issue in our house, even something mild like "please do your homework" he grabs the phone BM bought him and he calls her to tell her "what a witch I am". He spends all of his time, on the phone with her. He only has 1 friend, but would rather talk to Mom or spend time with Mom then see his friends. For a 13 year old, I think that's odd. If you read my first blog, you will also know that he even sleeps next to his mother while at her house.  He is not getting his school work done, his chores done, he makes big messes around the house and refuses to pick up after himself, throws temper tantrums like a 2 year old, when he doesn't get what he wants he throws things, kicks chairs, etc.

My husband works 7 days a week, so I spend most of his time with the Skids. DH does the discipline, but lately he let's everything slide. He will tell SS "2 weeks of no TV " for calling me names, throwing and damaging things around the house and being a little snot. But the next day, SS wants to sit on his butt all day watching TV (even while the weather is nice) and DH let's him! We have a small farm, lots of land, neighborhood kids to play with and ride bikes with and still he would rather sit inside and watch TV or be on the phone with BM all day. 

I am pulling my hair our trying to get DH to understand that SS won't listen to me or do his schoolwork and he is outright disrespectful. At times, he wont even refer to me by name. Just calls me "that witch" or "your wife", it's extremely rude! DH says I hate my youngest SS. I honestly do not hate this kid. SS has been failed by the system, he has a narssist-borderline BM and I am frustrated with SS! I have tried talking to DH, writing him a letter, literally cried for help, and nothing will help him to understand my frustration.  

If you have read my other blogs, you will see that we have tried family counseling. BM uses it as a forum to complain about my husband and I. We have seen multiple counselors, but once they get to really know BM, we get passed along to another counselor, no one knows how to deal properly handle this situation.