Just curious..
I'm curious as to what it's called when a step child is obsessed with their parents partners children?
When I say obsessed this is what I mean..
Constantly tailing my son, following him around, micormanaging his every move and reporting it to her father, even if it's going to the bathroom or getting something to drink, and why EVERY SINGLE time it's an annoucement as if shes trying to tell on him for something that he isn't even doing wrong? Why she would monopolize situations, manipulate them, provoke my son when she thought nobody was looking, just to turn around and play the victim card that my son was doing something "mean" to her. There was never a time I took my eyes off of my son so I was able to catch the entire situation, and whenever it was addressed she would smile and laugh about it. Is that narcassism in a young child? Is it possible for an almost 7 year old to be a narcissist? I've posted blogs about her before venting and trying to get some clarity, and I have seperated myself completely from this girl and her father due to no action ever being taken on her behavior and personality, such as counseling, mental health evaluations, etc. I was never seeking for her to be mistreated or constantly punished more so her behavior addressed and dealt with in a healthy way where there could have been some sort of solution and because that was damn near impossible, I've chosen to take myself out of it. A decision I am still standing by and at peace with. But these thoughts do linger, on why she would treat me and my son this way. My son was nothing but nice and a friend/brother to her but was always being looked down on by her father for his emotional responses to her behavior and the way that she was. I don't know what child would be able to deal with another child that is constantly violating their boundaries, space, laughing at them, manpiulating situations to get him in trouble (like going in her room or bathroom to bite herself and say that my son did it) and because her dad absolutely did not believe me, put cameras up in my house while they lived there just to see if my son was lying when really it was his daughter that was lying. Even then, the lying was never truly addressed. Or dealt with in any way shape or form. How is it possible that a child can be this malicious, manipulative, and lack such empathy or feelings towards other people and how their actions affect them? I played out so many scenerios in my head of what this would look like down the road if I kept myself in this situation, and it shook me. Had me sick to my stomach and terrified, because I honestly don't know what this girl is capable of but I do know it isn't anything good when it comes to me or my son. I honest to God think she would've hurt my child, emotionally or physically later down the road because of her jealousy. How in the fuck do you lie about my son doing things to you like biting you? How do you really, at that age, think to go in another room, harm yourself, and lie and say that another child did that? How do you watch your father and that childs parent struggle to figure out who's telling the truth and who isn't knowing damn well you are wrong and you are lying. How do you find joy in my son getting talked to as if he did something wrong knowing that you maticulously planned this situation to work in your favor? The dishonesty? The lack of human emotion? How the FUCK can a child be this way? How do you laugh and smirk over it when you get caught? She knew damn well what she was doing was right or she wouldn't have went throug such lengths, to hide it or manipulate it. All for what? For her father and I to be at odds? For my son to be looked at like a monster or bad child when he was ABSOLUTELY NOT EITHER OF THEM? For the "poor" baby bullshit from her fucking dad that he always falls for? How does this happen to children? Are they just born this way because unpopular opinion, I really do think some are. I swear to god she has NPD, narcisstic personality disorder. I never thought that I could dislike a child this much, and I damn sure hate her father and it will take some time for me to let go of those resentments but thank god it's started and I have closed that chapter and kept it closed after years of dealing with this. Now I'm just dealing with all of the questions, and the why's, and the lingering feelings from a fucked up situation I settled for because of a covert narcissist because that's exactly what her father is so maybe that's where she gets it. And from her weird emotional incessting ass grandmother. I see the entire picture now for what it was, which was his daughter and mother couldn't stand me or how in love and obsessed her son was with me. How sick do you have to be to be jealous of your grown ass sons partner. She was the same way with his daughters mother too, until she passed away. Now thats her daughter and she uses her death for sympathy and it's absolutely disgusting. The mother actually slept with her husband, that's why she hated her. But as soon as she died, she LOVED her and was so heartbroken. I will never forget her telling me "Well at least she wont be a threat to you anymore" when she told me she passed away. Absolutely disgusting. Never even viewed her as one. Its just insane, how messed up and toxic people really are in this world and how they keep passing it down to their children.
In regards to my other posts, yes I have stayed away and stood on my boundary for my son and I.
We are doing great and much better and my son is just fine with the adjustment. He understands. I should have done this years ago, but lesson learned, finally. Thank you all :)
- MamaE1994's blog
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Comments
everything you just wrote is
everything you just wrote is what you need to look at if you ever waver in your resolution.
as for her, her Dad, her Grandma ... that will never be understood because none of them will ever dig that deep into themselves. I pity their next victims because that's what you were and what anyone who enters their lives will be ..their victims.
Yeah when I touched on the
Yeah when I touched on the inappropriate lack of boundaries she had with her son after she threw a fit over having me over for a visit she charged at me trying to fight me. Sometimes I wish her son would've let it happen LOL. His mom is so disgsuting and fake and it's just unbelievable the way she is with her son and her grand daughter. She wants her grand daughter to be her daughter so bad that she would even tell me that's her daughter, regardless of her having a mom, and having me raise her as my own at that time and her grand daughter calling me mom. Guess she just wasnt okay with being a grandma, or okay with not being her sons girlfriend lmao. Gross... I pity the next person too. All will seem well for awhile, maybe even a year or 2, until the jealousy and emotional incest sets in and she realizes what she got herself into. But hey at least it wont be me anymore. I'll gladly enjoy my life alone and in peace without their passive aggressive convert narcissistic bullshit. Maybe he will just marry his mother since she's 50 something years old and still can't find a man because it isn't her son. She's still waiting on him to "buy mommy a house" and take care of her because apparantly she can't do it herself. The jealousy was so real with that one. I've never been hated so much by 2 people that I thought would never be jealous of me or my role because they had their own. Just insanity at it's finest.
Your current and previous
Your current and previous posts, pertaining to your partner’s child, describe a personality disorder more suggestive of psychopathy than narcissism. The girl’s behaviour is downright frightening! Frankly, reading of her manipulations made the hair on the back of my neck stand up.
I suspect that the girl’s father refuses to seek therapy for his disturbed daughter because her actions are fulfilling some of his own unhealthy, unnatural needs.
The only upside of this whole mess is that you managed to escape before any permanent damage was done to your son. Hon, there is no point in trying to figure out the tangled, dysfunctional chaos that you’ve left behind; just be glad that you found the strength to GTFO!
Have you considered a few therapy sessions for your son? He’s been through a lot and could benefit from discussing his past torment with a professional. Best of luck to you and your boy!
For the last year my son has
For the last year my son has only seen these two people on weekends supervised by me, and if things got too chaotic or her behavior became too overwhelming we would leave and go home. My son has already gone through counseling and based off of his current evaluation and his behavior there doesn't seem to be a need for it. He was put through counseling as was I when ex BF was put in jail and a domestic violence case was opened on him to protect me. We had a very toxic relationship for quite some time due to him constantly defending his daughters behavior/antics/lying and me trying to stand up for myself and my son. Ex bf then became very passive aggressive and started this form of convert narcissism where I was made out to be this always irritated/angry person because their dynamic got under my skin so much. Once the protection order was dropped I only ever saw him maybe twice a week, or 3 times every 2 weeks. I moved back onto my reservation and my reservation decided to keep his for 5+ years regardless of the countys decision, since they are a sovereign union. He isn't allowed on the land where I live currently which is added comfort now that I've decided to wipe my hands of it all.
I was hoping that he was going to get his daughter help but that never ended up happening and he just doesn't see an issue with her behavior other than her needing attention. Which is the core of it but I do believe that she shows sign of psychopathy and that she will end up a sociopath if she isn't already one. Which I do believe she is. I carried a lot of guilt for feeling this way about a young child but the behavior made it impossible to ignore and the lack of remorse and the way disciplined or boundaries never helped or phased her made it impossible for me to want to bond with her on any level. I've been completely disengaged from her for quite some time, way before I ever started posting on here. After how badly she ruined my moms house with urine and feces, and the treatment towards my son, the only interaction I had with her was watching her every move when my child was present. My son has been around them since he was a baby, the ex and I had an amazing friendship for years when he moved to WA before we had children, and we still had a healthy friendship after we both had kids. It wasn't until we transitioned into a romantic relationship that everything revealed itself, the emotional incest with his mother and him, that now shows in the way that he is with his daughter.. It's a typical case of somebody not showing their true colors until they already have the other person emotionally invested, and completely fooled. A lot of facades and empty words with no actions backed by any of them, and my dumbass that always tried to paint a new picture whenever true colors were shown because I didn't want to accept that after 5+ years of knowing someone and having a friendship with them, that I didn't really know them at all. And the kind of parent they were, just wasn't the kind of parent that I was or wanted to be so it was a constant clash. I'm just glad that I was able to leave, and that I'm able to stay gone without feeling the need to go back and try again because no part of me wants that. It's mostly the resentment I'll have to work through, and the guilt that I'll carry as a mother and a woman for not leaving sooner and not living in acceptance/being in such denial. But I do have a good support system, my sons father completely supports my path of independence and has been helping me make sense of it to my mom, why I don't take him over there anymore and why I no longer will be ever in the future and why I refuse to be dependent on somebody. My son has an amazing very active father as I've stated before, so he really isn't taking any losses with this one. I just feel a lot of guilt for removing someone that's been such a big part of his life, and I shouldn't. Because it wasn't a person that brought me any kind of happiness in the end and at some point my son is going to have to learn that people change, feelings change, and not everybody is meant to be in our story forever. One day I'll be able to explain it to him, when hes a little older, and hopefully he will learn from my mistake that you don't keep yourself in miserable situations due to comfort. We will be okay.. I'm sure ex and his daughter will live a very happy life depending on each other, the same way ex and his own mother did, and they will continue on passing that trauma to the next generation of theirs. Who knows, maybe they will find someone crazy enough to deal with it or see it as healthy. Which I don't see as a win anyway, because anyone that sees it as healthy is clearly as mental as they are lol.
agree with Grannyd
I agree with Granny d. This kid sounds like she has antisocial personality disorder, which is more like psychopathy or sociopathy than narcisscism. Its good that you are out of that situation. My oldest SD is a sociopath and since she moved in with BM, I have had much less stress.