So yesterday when I wrote my first blog entry I was so excited to be around people that understood and most of the responses were so awesome. I went in very naive though and probably started my blog with the wrong mindset but then, this is the place "where stepparents come to vent" ..
I was angry and fed up and everything was snowballing on me ... so all of the hate spewed out of me for my SD without mentioning that there is good as well. I felt relieved after getting it off my chest. These people would understand and it would be ok. Yesterday was I guess a cleansing of sorts for me to get the poison out. I let my feelings get the better of me on a couple of the responses.. well, one in particular. I was going to respond directly with all of my justifiable reasons for doing what I do or did... but since my maturity level was in question, I felt I should let myself calm down and realize that people are entitled to their opinions.. This is a public forum after all and I put myself out there. I have to realize people can and will be nasty or brutal.

That being said.. I hope that everyone on here understands, we are all fighting a similar battle. Blended families are not for the faint of heart. Aren't we here to commiserate and build each other up?? I completely admit to making giant mistakes. There is no handbook and every situation is different. Have I done things improperly? Absolutely! Does that make me immature? At times, yep.. absolutely!! Not proud but it has happened. Does that qualify having my maturity level questioned?? LOL NO!! Absolutely NOT. I in fact still hold my "adult card" no matter what anyone thinks. LOL
I have said things. I have been hurtful. I have lost my shit on more than one occasion from feeling so completely lost. I'm not perfect. You know what I am?? I'm fucking human!!!! With faults and regrets and fears and inadequacies!!!

But... I'm also proud of me. I'm proud of how I have handled most of this last 7 years. I am proud when I see my SD succeed. There have been victories and I really try to stay as positive as possible. I joined here to learn ways of finding the good as well... not just ending a marriage or being a bitch all the time. I actually do care about my whole family. We do have good bones to work with and counseling is probably coming.

For the record.. I did apologize to SD for blowing up about the keurig when she got home from school. I did go on to explain about common courtesy and maybe thinking about when youre using something think about the next person using it and maybe make life a little easier for someone. She accepted my apology and said "well I know one thing for sure, I'll never leave the keurig empty" LOL There's a win!!!

"Honesty without Tact is Cruelty"