Hanging in There
I used to get along with my SS & SD. Now that they're teens and especially since we got married, they have changed. Suddendly I'm the source of all their hatred. SS isn't sneaky enough to set me up. But SD is, so I'm constantly playing that game right back at her. Her mother is chronically ill and is getting worse. I don't think I can live with her all the time. She just visits for now. DH can't stand the SD for very long either, she reminds him of his ExW and it makes him angry. I have 3 grown of my own and didn't have these issues. DH doesn't discipline and works late to avoid conflicts. He really is a wonderful man and I love him very much. We lived together for 5 years before we got married. I'm tired of fighting to stay one step ahead of the SKs. They need to get over it already.
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I feel for you...........
I feel for you being in that situation. Unfortunately from some of the books I've read these things need to be dealt with by the biological parent. Your husband needs to deal with the conflict and not work late to avoid it. It's sad that the daughter reminds him of the ex which creates anger. Somehow he has got to work to get past that. Then he can resolve the issue between you and the skids.
Just my opinion.
So are you taking care of skids will DH works?
If so, I think you should stop doing this. They are his kids and it's up to him to deal with them. As the Step Mother, I got all the skids anger who were also teens. One day I got tired of it and starting letting them know I was done putting up with it. I told DH in front of SD that if she continued to behave this way when she turned 18, she was not going to live with us.
I think that was a wake up call for her because after that she got a lot better. I used to ignore their nasty behavior but now I tell them exactly what I think. Why should I sit there and just take it. Tell DH if he is not there, you will leave and let him deal with them.
I completely disengaged until he sat them down and told them to knock it off. He started laying down the rules and stopped putting up with their @#$#@ behavior. My guess is that SD is jealous of you because DH doesn't like her but he loves you. Can you get DH to go to therapy and deal with this? Whatever happens, stop putting up with it. You deserver to be treated with respect and DH should be protecting you from them.
Sorry. Hope things get better soon. I went through it and it sucks.
"Evil Stepmothers aren't born, it comes with the territory"
OMG I just blew up at the
OMG I just blew up at the SD. What a total just like her mother! I can't even put into words how much I HATE her. She lies and then acts like the victim. I'll make her a victim. All over a misplaced vacuum cleaner. I put it away and looked the martyr. If she honestly thinks that daddy will pick her outbursts and demanding tempertantrums over helpful me; she is oh so wrong. I am so angry right now its taking me forever to type correctly. Who the hell does she think she is? Thinks she can scream at me and just expect me to take it???? No freakin way. Any 15 year old that raises their voice at me is gonna get shouted down. Oh and for those of you Dr. Spock types. BITE MY TITE LIL ASS. Do you think for one nano second that Dr. Spocks theries work in the US military. Ill answer that for you. NO!!!! I just want her to go live with her mother. Go away, don't interrupt our life together.
Oh, and I've stopped watching and taking care and running errands for the sks. Wow have i become the mega bitch! Too bad, they'll be gone in a few years and we'll be happy together and thats all that matters. She will only ever be happy if she can make everyone else around her miserable. JUST LIKE HER MOTHER! )by the way thats the worst insult you can give her. She is just like the woman she hates the most. Well maybe she hates me more, but shes is nothing like me. Too bad, thats one less good guy for the cause.