Just a little background: I have been dating my boyfriend for a little over two years now and he has a 5 and 3 year old daughters with another woman. He had his five year old very young and custody went to his mother because his BM didn't want her and he was too young to get it. Him and his BM were not together after this but unfortunately he did occasionaly have sex with her although she was having sex with several other people. The second time she was pregnant, my boyfriend did not believe it was his as a couple other men were in question. He did not find out the girl was his until she was seven months old and that was when he became a part of her life, but sadly not before. ANYWAYS, then me and him met and hit it off and he now had custody of his five year old and she lived with him. I have become very close with his five year old daughter. She calls me mommy and we have an extremly close relationship. My boyfriend was getting his other daughter every other week but this stopped for awhile after him and his BM got in an argument over her nasty comments to me and she would not let him see her. Over the summer, my boyfriend finally went to court to get scheduled visitation with his daughter. His BM has not seen her five year old since febuary and did not even call or anything on her birthday.

The situation Im in now is my boyfriend and I are getting very serious and he has been talking lately about getting married and having a baby of our own. I am a little apprehensive just becuase me and his BM do not get along at all. Although my boyfriend and her's young childish relationship ended years ago, she is still very hung up on him and he has even had to get his phone number changed after she phone harrased him. I have tried to get along with her but I cannot take how she treats her five year old daughter because i love her like she is mine. Recently, his BM just had another baby but a different man and has started to push her 3 year old away also asking him to watch her more and more. I am not only concerned about how she is being raised but with the 3 year old being around a lot more, the 4 year old is asking more and more questions about her mom and why she doesnt see her and I am really at loss for words? Any suggestions? Also, our 5 year old is wonderful with good manners and a great attitude. His 3 year old is a lot more irritable and bad-tempered due to the way she is being raised. This is starting to rub off on our 5 year old but I don't know how much us disciplining is going to do when the discipline is not continued at her home. What should we do about this? And also, I would just like some advice in general about being a step mom and biological mom and being married to a man with kids. I get very stressed out sometimes thinking about the later teenage years and the "your not my mom" thing. I am very attatched to this five year old girl and care a lot about this 3 year old and am very nervous about the future. Besides that, I am very in love with their father and would love a child of my own.