So, after making some small changes yet again OH had reverted back to being - well a man basically LOL

Not talking to me, not discussing changes etc, making plans without me, hanging on the skids every last word and wish, giving up couple time over and over to hang with the step-brats. Yadda yadda yadda same old same old.

So I have been contemplating leaving. Seriously.

I don't want to move 3 states away and take up my parents amazingly generous and fabulous offer, it's not fair to my kids (bio's) they have a life established here, dd11 is auditioning for a dance High School that is opening next year 20 minutes away from where we live - brilliant opportunity so fingers crossed on the 23rd!

I digress

I have made enquiries and tentative plans. I have a small amt of debt (apart from the mortgage) and my qualifications and skills for "real" work are sadly beyond outdated (ie work that will fully support us as opposed to my little part time cleaning business which covers most of dd's and my expenses but we couldn't manage on our own with it)

So, I have worked out that if he buys me out of our house I can pay off my debt, and pay the rent upfront for a year while I return to uni (double degree in Nursing and Midwifery - quite excited) I have put out feelers at the uni with regards to mature age entry, and spoken to social security about what is available to me.

OH knows snippets of this that I am making plans to upgrade my skills just in case I end up alone.

Since Monday when he blew me off yet again to hang with his kids extra time (BM's time) at the last minute I have pretty much disengaged from him.

Went out Tuesday night instead of being here to cook for him. When I got home was polite, made small talk, did some chores and watched TV all with an air of polite disinterest. Didn't ask him about his day, nothing.

We went to bed. Was still politely disinterested

Got a few texts on Wednesday, I love you, how is your day kind of thing (we used to text frequently during the day but that has all but stopped from his end - and now from mine as well) I replied, distant. I am just not engaging unless you want to properly be here for me OH! (never said that to him)

Wednesday afternoon he texts me last minute to TELL me SD13 has a friend with her (has been an issue - I expect her to ask in advance if we mind, not do the manipulative thing of asking with friend right there, because dadddyyyy can't say no to his princess when put on the spot. I said "are you asking me or telling me? Did she ASK first? Why are you even bothering with this, you already have her and will do whatever you want anyways just like always"

He didn't come home for 2 hours (sans friend) until it was time to cook tea and take kids to acro. We cooked together, I was pleasant - polite but distant. He was very - ummmmm - confused I guess. Just did not know what to do or say. Oh well.

Took the kids to acro, normally he makes a big drama about wanting to stay and watch (parents aren't supposed to watch the classes) he tries to stay anyway and I try to leave - hell in my eyes it's a precious hour we could spend together having coffee or whatever. Anyway, I walk out and he follows. We get in the car, I say "I need to get some milk, we need petrol and I thought we'd get the kids frozen cokes for the end of class"

Him "Ok."

Me - silence....

Him - uncomfortable....

Finally he starts talking about his day (week - I haven't asked all week) I engage a little to talk about some work stuff. Then silence again. He EVENTUALLY asks about my day. "It was fine"

By now he is very confused.

We drive off, get the petrol, he is acting loving towards me. Ok. I allow this.

Go to the supermarket (one he doesn't really know - a discount one with a different and limited range to the normal ones but SO much cheaper so this is where I shop now - on Thursday nights). He says "We have time, I'd like to look around to see what they have. So I can help you plan meals more when my kids are here - I know how hard it is to find stuff they will eat!"

OK! So we wander the aisles, he finds some stuff (oh also last week I went off on him for acting like I don't care about his kids when I am the ONLY one who cares about sd13 being obese. He and BM are in such a game of being the more favoured parent they allow this poor kid to eat anything and everything. BM sends her to our house with a hat box FULL of junk food for three days - family packs of chips, boxes of crackers, bags of sweets, blocks of chocolate - if I had my way this bounty would keep all 6 of us in junk for a month!) She just eats SO MUCH CRAP. She'll load up her dinner with 3 different kinds of sauce AND mayo - to the point there is more sauce than food!) I must have finally hit a nerve because he said "I want us to stop eating the crap we have when my kids are here, I need to find healthier alternatives that they will still eat! I know it's harder when they're here, they won't eat a normal meal like your's do. I'll try and help more."

OM F**cking God!

We finish our errands, get the kids. He takes his home and we watch TV together. (still no nookie though!)

Thursday - my behaviour - rinse and repeat previous few days.

He is a lot more chatty, helpful, even came into the kitchen while I was cooking to see if I needed any help last night!!!!!!! Making much more of an effort to talk to me instead of veg out in front of the idiot box.

But today my friends! Today I just got a text from him (actually I have had lots of texts the last few days, how am I, how is my day, I love you etc) But this one!!!

Normally on a Saturday when the brats are with us he takes them out all afternoon. (mine are at dancing all day) I am NEVER invited, they go to the library, parks, visit his mother (in a nursing home) and just hang out and have fun. I sit at home alone.

So.... the text!

"Hi Sexy, how is your day going? Was thinking, tomorrow when your girls are at dancing we go and pick up my mum and take her out for a little while, what do you think? I will need to call the nursing home."

He ASKED ME???? He informed me of his plans, he INCLUDED me in his plans and he asked my opinion?????

Wonders will never cease.

So.

I will go, I will play nice and be lovely. Sex MAY be on the agenda tonight if I feel like it, we will see how the evening with the superbrats plays out first.

And I will continue to make my plans for MY future.