SS14 is finally going to SM for this holiday and I usually make the trip with FH so that he doesn't travel back on his own. Its a 8 hour round trip. Problem is I always get headaches and sometimes migraines from the trip and overall it is a bad experience for me, but I do it because I love FH and I fear for his safety on the road. He always tells me to stay at home when I complain...especially when I say "why can't SS14 fly or take a bus? (it's cheaper!!!!!)....BD11 always flys to her dad" And he says "No SS14 is too insecure and blah blah blah" So EVERY damn holiday we make the road trip up to Johannesburg and back and it takes an entire day! SM rarely if ever contributes to petrol (and petrol is very expensive here in South Africa!) I feel like making an excuse this time and letting him go up alone..give the excuse that he can have quality time with his son..problem is he usually leave 2am and the kid sleeps the entire way! FH has this way of saying "you don't want to spend time with me (MaGoose)? so don't then..I will go alone with SS14" Then I feel bad and think what if something happens to him on the way back.

Fetching SS14 after the holiday is another story because he cries all the damn way back! Then FH swears at BM (but to me, cos I'm there and she's not) "I hate the F-íng b*ch for doing this to SS14" and I say "what?" "breaking up our marriage by sleeping with my best friend and now we are divorced yadda yadda yadda" then I say "Oh so you'd rather still be with her? cos that's what you are saying" hurts me that he says these things but I do understand partly. But then I say "well think of it this way..if she hadn't done what she did, we would never have met..." he gets it but is still mad that SS14 has to suffer and not have his mom with him. But it was HIS (SS14)choice to stay with FH rather than BM 4 years ago when she was involved with a man with teenage kids that used to tease him & he couldn't handle it! Saturday, I have a cleaning lady who comes in and the kids know when she wants to do the lounge, they must scadaddle and leave the room so she can clean...SS14 refused because he was watching a movie. I had to ask him to leave and he then went on MXIT (don't know if you have it in US but it's a cheap texting system based on the internet but used on cellphones) and asked his mom when she's getting a house because he wants to move to her. So FH phones me to see what is happening at home because BM has phoned him complaining. So I told him everything was fine. "Why's SS14 so upset" "I don't know...only time I spoke to him was to ask him to leave the lounge so the cleaner could clean in there...routine on a Sat!" Apparently SM said that SS14 said that I was unfair and have favourites i.e. my BD11 and I am always picking on him and not her :sick: So FH tells her we have to have rules and if he cannot abide by them, then he must move up to her. Well done FH!!! Problem is three fold, 1)SM has a childish toyboy BF that throws tantrums when she spends money on SS14 or even spends alone time with him, 2)SM is not on her feet yet and 3)there are no schools for ADD kids up where she lives. But FH says to the kid that he can go and live with his mom, but he cannot then come back to us if it doesn't work out... this is mean, don't you think? I told him that he can't do that to kids that are under age...they don't know what they want like adults do.

Well sorry for the vent...actually just want to know what you ladies & gents would do in my position regarding the travelling with FH.

Thanks to u all!
MG