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BM is a bitch (anyone shocked?)

luchay's picture

Submitted by luchay on Tue, 06/24/2014 - 12:11am

Blog hogging today.

Skids both have birthdays next month. So do OH and I. SS's is very early in the month, mine is the 18th, OH's the 20th and SD's a couple of days after his.

My birthday this year is a Friday, OH's a Sunday. It is supposed to be a skid weekend.

BM texted him a week or so ago and TOLD him she needed to have the kids that weekend as she is having a joint birthday party for them on the Saturday

OH thought about it, and agreed with the proviso that he picks them up at 10am on the Sunday and drops them home usual time. And we get them the following two weekends in total. (He was pleased because it means we get my birthday without them here which he knows will be better for me because they are shitty towards me)

FF to Friday just gone. He picks them up for his weekend, and SS10 (turning 11 next week) has an invitation for OH for the birthday party..... JUST for OH, at BM's house, with BM, her BF and all their friends and family... SS REALLY wants OH to go.

OH explained to SS and SD13 (turning 14) that he cannot attend, it wouldn't be right - that we will do our own celebrations with them as we have done the last 2 years (and he did the year before that on his own) He explained that it wouldn't be fair to BM, the family, BM's BF or to me. They seemed to accept this.

FF again to yesterday. OH has put in for leave at Xmas and over the summer holidays. He texted BM to tell her what time he has off and when he can have the skids. This is her reply -

"That's good I wish u had told the kids u were busy on there b'days not u just didn't want to go thay said sick of putting her first that is sad OH thay feel like u just do everything she wants and thay r getting sick of it. I just want to tell u dodnt lose them as thay r having a ball with us..."

(Oh.... the last bit refers to this weekend just gone. Also OH's weekend. She arranged a night in a fancy hotel, shopping for her and SD and for her BF and SS to go to the footy (OH's thing AND his team!!) She tells the kids ALL about it, then checks with OH if she can have them on his time.... fuck I hate this bitch. So we had them Friday night and she picked them up Saturday morning. He feels he can't say no because the cow manipulates things to make him the bad guy)

I am just so sick of this bitch and her attempts to hurt him. And this is pretty constant and it does go a way towards explaining WHY he is how he is.

Comments

simifan's picture

Submitted by simifan on Tue, 06/24/2014 - 1:11am

Your DH needs to stand his ground until he does BM will take advantage. Tell BM and kids no more switching. These kids are old enough to understand a calendar Mark all DH custody time on one to give to them. Next time tell them sorry, I have no idea why mom would schedule on my weekend.

Effie_C's picture

Submitted by Effie_C on Tue, 06/24/2014 - 2:10am

She sounds like a nightmare, but it also sounds like you're both handling it pretty well. Your DH sounds to me like he's standing his ground, considering how manipulative she is. I felt angry for you and could feel my blood boiling reading that message she sent, trying to guilt/manipulate him by saying that HER KIDS are sick of him putting you first. Exactly the sort of crap BM would send, question my DH's "priorities" (one of her favourite words).

Other poster is spot on about DH standing his ground or she will take advantage. I'm an example of what happens if your partner DOESN'T stand up for himself or your relationship enough, and as a result I put up with exactly this sort of nonsense all the time, only my DH goes along with it. So my SD's birthday this year, will - like every year - be organised by BM and he'll be invited and go along, and l won't, but worse my daughter (v. close to SD) won't be invited and she'll be hurt and so it goes on...

From reading what you wrote, it sounds like at least your DH gets that BM's behaviour is manipulative and self-interested and nothing really to do with her kids? That would be a big thing for me, cause mine often just doesn't get it (says she's "just emotional", doesn't mean it badly... blah blah blah blah BLAH Blum 3 )