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To Participate or Not To Participate - that is the question........

LostInTheMess's picture

I have attempted the disengage. I have not perfected it yet, but the little I have been able to do has helped. I am less concerned with ss and therefore, less irritated by his behavior. So my current dilema is wether to particpate in a counseling session with ss and so.

I believe that I mentioned in a prior blog that ss recently requested to start seeing his counselor, again, for the 3rd round. He makes these requests when he feels like things are not going his way - most recently because the closet was not evenly split between ss and bs. Its rediculous, but BM goes along with it, so we are supportive as well hoping he gets SOMETHING out of it. Anyway, the main issue being the equality of closet space at our house, the counselor has requested that we attend a session. During the school year, SS has residential time with us 4 days every other week. The only unequaly thing in this shared bedroom is the closet space!

Being so content with not engaging right now, I really have no desire to go. I am not feeling so anxious and I have less animosity towards his behavior at this point. SO is more than welcome to play the game (remember, I'm disenaged), but I don't feel the need to encourage this behavior. Done. (contented sigh.....)

And the saga continues.............

Comments

Kes's picture

Personally, I would not go, and also, in my view, having a counselling session about closet space is a bit ridiculous. It is verging on the situation where every minor domestic arrangement has to be referred to a professional therapist before it is implemented.

LostInTheMess's picture

Thank you. I was able to take a very deep breathe knowing I am not alone in my opinion. SS does this ALOT. If he feels BM is holding his toes to the fire he cries - I need to see my counselor. If he feels my SO is holding his toes to the fire he cries first - Daddy doen't want me anymore and second - I need to see my counselor! And when I say toes to the fire, I mean calling him out when he is being disrespectful, giving consequences when he doesn't do his chores and asserting some discipline when he flat our lies to our faces. SO says that he is going to call ss out on the carpet when they meet in hopes that the counselor will help nip this in the bud, but I'm sure ss will cry and SO will cave.........