I'll start by apologizing I think this is going to be a long blog! I have been with my husband for 8 years, he has a 14 y/o son. I have a 13 y/o daughter, and 11 y/o son, and together we have a 4 y/o son. All the kids live with us, and I am a stay at home mom. They are really decent kids but i have a very difficult time with my ss. He goes out of his way to make sure everyone in the house is as miserable as he must feel. That's the best way to describe it. I've actually caught him smiling several times after he has puposely done something harmful to one of my kids. The only time my husband and I argue is over his son's selfish, hurtful behavior. He has never been affectionate towards me or anyone else in the family. He isn't even like this with his mom or dad. He cry's the minute anyone attempts to disipline him, He is completly disrespected to all adults, and somedays i just think to myself I only have 4 more years, unfortunaley, I have been saying that same thing for the past 8 years. I have known this boy his entire life, yet he absolutley hates me, and my children. He used to save all his anger for us, but most recently is trying to direct it to his father. He is very manipulative, and uses words and actions to make his dad feel like crap. And it works. His father has always caved into his tantrums, and i see right through them. I am very strict parent, i expect my kids to be respectful towards everyone, and if I give out a punishment I stick to my guns, but my husband always caves in and let's them off easy. I know most of my ss behavior problems are do to his father trying to be his friend and not a parent, but this kids is so out of control it is exhausting. I don't even want to be around him, and i look forward to afternoon's when his mom picks him up from school or the occasional weekend when she takes him. Our house runs so smoothly when he is gone, there is no fighting, no screaming, no kids whinning that some one got more than someone else. I know deep down that it isn't all his fault, but he is 14 now and at some point in his life he is bound to face disappointment, and I am very concerned, he can't even handle being told no. For instance today is Halloween and he wanted us to by eggs for him. YEAH RIGHT fat chance of that! so for 2 days he hounds his dad about this, stupid right, well this am he starts up saying how no one loves him, he's going to kill himself. Hello! because he can't have eggs on halloween. Give me a F***ing break. I've had it with his manipulation, i told his dad to take him to the hospital and have him addmitted on the psych ward for suicidal behavior. some one needs to wake my husband out of the cloud he is in. and teach him how to stop catering to a spoiled brat. but insetead he grounds him for just tonight, oh well that's just wonderful, so know one of us(him) has to stay home and miss trick or treating with our 4 y/o, and a costume contest. I feel that my ss selfishness hurts our child, because his dad is so consumed with making the older happy and well behaved that he ends up missing out on or 4y/o. It just sucks and I'm to tired to care anymore, does anyone out there have a similar situation, or advice. I think we, especially my step son needs counsiling, but any advice at this point would be helpful