Remember 40 year old virgin? When the hot blonde took 4 straight shots and the virgin thought he was going home with her? She asked him if he could drive, and he said he didn't drive? And she growled..."Ooohhh...just suck it up!" I say that a lot to myself...

Well, what "I" say an awful lot is....Give me a f*&gn break!!! and "What am I, chopped liver?" (Picture Queens accent - hubby thinks I'm just like Carrie from that show King of Queens.)

But my fridge sayings are:
Enjoy Life, This is Not A Dress Rehearsal and
Insanity is repeating the same behavior but expecting different results.

And, my favorite quote from a movie is what Al Pacino says to the cops who are trying to screw him over in Dog Day Afternoon...."Kiss me.......I like to be kissed when I'm being f**kd.

Oops...I posted twice by accident. I'm confused. Sometimes i post twice..sometimes my posts don't show up. AGH....

Bonus Wife, I loved being reminded of the Pacino comment...it's terrific!!! And loonybonusmom...I understand about the sunshine and the cold...I'm here in Alaska and we've had gorgeous sunshine days for over a week...but its been -10 to -25 every day...brrrr, but it's lovely.

I have three things I remind myself of almost every day...

Your example will inspire others.

Choose to be happy rather than choose to be right.

When something bad happens, choose to be a victim or choose to learn from it.

I always had a problem remembering to take my BCP, so my husband brought me home from work a roll of magnetic tape and I put magnets on the back of my pill container so that I could stick it to the fridge. On it, I wrote, "Bad things happen when we don't take our pill!"

Now, the one I have for my husband is, "GFY, baby!" (GFY stands, obviously, for go f**k yourself.) This is said with a cheese-eating grin so as not to get me into too much trouble...!

~ Anne ~

Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice: Pull down your pants and slide on the ice! -M*A*S*H (Sidney Freedman to the OR staff on dealing with stress)

Y'all are cracking me up!! I guess now you know I'm from Texas - 77 degrees today - that's Fahrenheit. One of my favorite phrases that just "popped out" of my mouth one day during a heated discussion with an Ex-boyfriend's ex-wife, - I told her to "take a flying leap and kiss my lilly-white thong-pantied ass...." Amazingly we're better friends now, that I am with the boyfriend in question. (She still prays for me every Sunday....!) But has become a family favorite, "KMLWTPA."

Another family favorite was during a road-trip several years ago, we all stopped at a convenient store to take a potty-break in a small town in Rooster-Poot Oklahoma. My brother-in-law, had to go "# 2", but upon discovering that there was no toilet paper in the bathroom, "danced" into the store to ask the attendant for toilet paper. He was met with Middle-Eastern individual who responded in broken English loudly and angrily: "YOU NO POO-POO, YOU PEE-PEE ONLY!!)

Tootsie
[You gonna skin that smoke-wagon, 'er are you just gonna stand there and bleed?]

because i'm a techie with a strange sense of humor (so say my friends, who never laugh at my jokes), my favorite quotes are a little off the beaten path....but i find they apply no matter what!

When all else fails, manipulate the data.

WTF?

Just pretend I’m not here...that’s what I’m doing.

I’m not the Boss...I just know what you should be doing.

People like you are the reason people like me need medication.

Wait a minute...I need to put on my “Gosh-I-Really-Care” face

Tomorrow’s going to suck, too, isn’t it?

You can’t scare me... I have teenagers.

Yet, despite the look on my face, you're still talking. (I find I use this one a whole lot with the aforementioned teenagers)

And the all-time catch-all:
Don't Take Life So Seriously. It Isn't Permanent

renee - *blend

It all makes me wanna fart in an elevator...

Do you slobber when you sleep?

Tootsie

I always say... "It's like I care, except really I don't." and "It's exactly the same, except different." That always makes people look at you wierd.

I love the line from Anchorman when he puts on all the cologne and someone in the background says "It smells like a turd covered in bird hair." I use that one alot too. (The baby has some really nasty diapers) Actually, I don't know if they said BIRD hair or BURNT hair... bird hair sounds funnier though.

These have made my day...actually my week....no, no...my month!!!! Still laughing.

-I can only please one person a day, today isn't your day... tomorrow doesn't look good either.

-I lied on my resume, they lied when they hired me. We're even.

-I have a watch that has all the numbers except for the number 12... the solgan... I'm killing time.

-My trash can has a sign on it... Complaint Department.

-the light is on, but nobody's home

Hey look! An ass... now go pin it!

StepMom

Man has the intelligence to change his life,
Sometimes, he just fails to use it...

The Mind's ability
To over-ride the body's desire
To choke the living shit
Outta some asshole who desperately needs it.

and

You snooze, you looze

The first time shame on you;
The second time shame on me. (

I can't remember exactly how it goes...does the above sound familiar to anyone?)

Also, food for thought:
You can trust someone you don't love and
love someone you don't trust....