Really getting to me
I just struggle so much with letting all the bad talk take over my life. It effect me all the time. I let it go for a few years,but then a recent incident when my oldest SD and my husband(her dad) had an email chat where he threw me under the bus, and it all came back. Now, I find myself talking to myself all the time with all kinds of negative speak like how I am going to get out of this when I am 50(6 more years,a ll kids will bhe launched with youngest a sophemore in HS),etc.I am quick to tears... and anger. Yesterday I got upset with my husband, and I believe the oldest heard us and he just thinks it is all in my head...or, when he does admit it, says he sees it differently. I just want to detach...but really have trouble with that. I still am an approval junkie!
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Why did you....
read other peoples e-mail?? Also, why did you allow other people to affect the way you feel about yourself?? You are yourself, take solace in that, and find yourself in a new light. Other peoples words ONLY affect you if you let them.
Kevin The Man
Not to make light
but I heard something the other day and thought of it just now when you said you were an approval junkie. It hit home with me and I hope you get out of it what I did. I don't know where the quote comes from but here goes, "It's not my business what other people think of me".
It at first sounds stupid. But the more I think about it, the more I agree with it. By not owning other peoples thoughts or perceptions of you (they are not yours, afterall) you will gain a wonderful amount of freedom. You may even release yourself from an unhealthy need to please.
Just a thought. I know it hurts when someone you trust says something mean about you behind your back. Chin up. This too shall pass.