If all three kids were yours and his, he most likely would have no problem with the oldest two sharing. When a family adds child number three, room rearrangements happen.

A friend had a three year old girl and added twins, one boy, one girl. Oldest girl moved from the bigger bedroom to the smaller one so they could fit two cribs in one room. In a couple of years when the twins move from cribs to beds, the girls will be in the larger room, and the boy in the smaller. They didn't, and aren't, buying a bigger home. They rearranged.

DH needs to man up and tell BM the kids can share. It is not reasonable to move, to a bigger home, if you cannot afford it. Finances trump wants.

Time to pull rank. It's YOUR house. I don't advocate this often, but when someone is being a total ass you have to do what you have to do.

Take BM to court, she should be supporting her children.

When you decided to create a baby, what planning went into the room arrangements? Or was there no planning?
This is a baby you and your DH made, so it makes sense that you should at the least share in the extra expenses needed for this child.

I think you may create resentment between the skids and the new baby if you take away their individual rooms, make them share, and give the baby it's own room. Put the baby in your room for a year, save your money, and then move or add on.

I don't see why the room sharing topic is up for discussion. Your house. What does DH expect? For you to put the baby in the garage? Silly man. All his huffing and puffing will get consideration when and if he financially can support a larger home.

At nine and eleven and both being boys, they're the natural selection to share. Boys are probably better suited to share than had they been girls. Boys have less accumulated 'stuff' and aren't as territorial about space as boys. DH also ends to remember this new expected arrival is every much his child and priority as his older two. You can safely bet neither boy wants to share with a baby. Get bunk beds if needed to give more room space and perhaps let them repaint. Each boy gets 1/2 the room for their things.

If DH gets a raise in financial status to cover 3 1/2 vs your 1 1/2, then he can start looking for a bigger home.

Balderdash. Since when is having your own room a basic need? Since the two kids are of the same gender they should be able to share a room. Your DH is horribly ungrateful and you need to tell him how it is.

Don't get into an argument with the ex. As tempting as it is to give her a piece of your mind just don't. You do not want to go down that road. Since you are with the kids fulltime there is no need for communication. Block her number etc. She can call the house phone to talk to the kids.

Tell your DH if he wants a four bedroomed house he is welcome to buy one for the family. If he does buy a larger house, DON'T SELL YOURS. Rent it out. He has already shown you where his priorities are. Believe him.

I'd be livid. Guilt becomes a big factor with new children. Even my DH, who is normally very level headed, got a little bizarre. Make it very clear - this is not an us/them situation but if he wants to make it adversarial - you are willing to make everything an us/them scenario. Does he really want to divide his family?

An infant needs it's own room otherwise they will wake the other children. Moving is not a financial option - he can not afford it. Ask him what he suggests - what will he give up. Redecorate the basement, the den?

Be prepared for issues when you want to take your child somewhere without the boys, as well.

As an aside, your DH needs to apply for CS - mom should be supporting her children.

Seriously? A woman who has helped support and care for two children is now having a baby. Therefore the two children will have to share a room. This is wrong.

This is wrong because:

1. The two children need their own separate rooms in case they are introverts. And, they are entitled to their own separate rooms, because the woman had been kind enough to give them a room in the past. Like when you get free samples at the grocery store, but then they don't have any left, it's normal to steal stuff because you're entitled to free samples.

2. The dad of all three children wants each child to have his/her own room. He can't provide this for his family, and the mother of the two children can't provide this either. But that doesn't matter, he wants it and the woman must find a way to provide. She should not have any say in how her money is spent because the dad, the mom of the two kids, and the two kids will resent that.

3. Gag me.

Are you kidding me, this is a no-brainer. Move same gender children together and baby gets a room. Tell the BM who pays nothing towards these two kids to shut the ---- up. She has no say, she should mind her own business and not stir up trouble. Funny how these stupid men forget we carry their children too, that the sun does not rise and fall in these Skids asses.

Also children do not own or have proprietary rights to any rooms in a house they do not pay for. These rooms are on lease to these kids, including bio kids, so we have all rights to move kids wherever the hell we want. Next time BM complains state that at least we don't put them both in the basement, and let her know that you don't like them in the basement when they VISIT her and she will shut the ---- up.

This is going to be one that you will have to be a little mean on. Sit your dh down and tell him that this is your first child, and you will not miss out on the excitement of setting up your child's nursery and decorating their from exactly how you want it. Stand your ground and just say the answer is no. I would get something new for the boys like cool bunk beds and bedding that they can be excited about, and make a big deal about how grown up they are and now they get to share.

But you're going to have to be firm on this. And he might huff and puff until the boys act excited about their new room situation.

Where does your husband propose to put the nursery?

Yes, the solution is to have the brothers share a room. Let them redecorate it. Split the room in half, get some grommet curtains and place them in the middle off the room. Easy to open and easy to close should they want privacy. Let the paint the room...make it fun and help them create a fun space. Also, be sure to give them the bigger of the two rooms.

I have a brother and a sister. I was the youngest. Guess who had to share a room while I was a baby. My brother and sister. Then later, I had to share a room with my sister. We are just fine.

And seriously....the BM who gives zero child support and has a two bedroom place feels she has any say in your home????? Wow wow wow!

http://www.houzz.com/photos/query/privacy-in-shared-bedroom/p/8

check out HOUZZ for shred bedroom ideas.

Tell him you will start looking g for a bigger home as soon. As he starts bringing in bigger money AND takes BM to court for CS. Then refuse to discuss the matter any further.

Do the boys share a room in BM's basement? If they do, it wouldn't even be changing anything!

That said...it's no big deal to make them share! You probably don't need a room for the baby for the first 6 months (If you have a room, you won't use it but if you don't have it, you'll wish you did!) but I don't understand why your DH is ridiculous over this. Tell him to save his money, and when he has it, then they can have their own rooms.

My older two boys share a room. They didn't want to at first, and now they don't like being apart. Granted, they are very young. We can afford a bigger house, but choose to stay with the 3 bedrooms until we can comfortably afford to add on or buy new without using up all our savings.

My brothers shared a bedroom until they left for college. They made it through it without any problems.

The boys don't "need" their own rooms. It may be nice, but it's not a necessity. Like others said, if they were all your bio kids, this wouldn't even be a conversation. Your DH needs to learn financial responsibility if he wants this luxury. I'm sorry, but OP doesn't OWE these kids their own rooms just because she's now having a baby.

Just FYI, I wouldn't file for child support then get a bigger house when you get it like someone suggested. She can quit paying that at any time and you're stuck with a bigger mortgage.

Ha I wouldn't worry about any of this if I were you and here's why: the baby doesn't need its own room until S/he can sleep through the night. Nurseries, however quaint, are unnecessary. My little one is 4 months and just moved into his room; it's been set up with all the nursery decor and "needs" since I was pregnant and it's just now getting use. I tell you not to worry because after the first month of no sleep, no sex and cosleeping (especially if you're breastfeeding it happens) then your DH will be begging you to put the baby in his/her own room.

Some of these comments make me feel evil just because I already bought a bunk bed for SS4's room. Since my bio and SS are both boys they will share once Bio is old enough. We have a 3 bedroom house but I want the boys to share. Before bio was born, the extra room was his toy room and I like having it as one so it'll go back to that in a couple of years.

Some posters said that this wouldn't become an actual issue until some months/years after the baby is born. I can tell you that there are as many approaches to parenting as there are fingerprints, maybe more! In my case, my baby was in her own room from night 1. She has never ever co-slept or 'roomed-in', she has slept through the night from 5 weeks and before that I was waking her up because I was a crazy-mommy and would worry if she slept more than 4 hours. (I was told to wake her up every 4 hours originally, but I could have stopped by 1 week, by the time she was regulating her own body temperature just fine.)

So maybe confronting this issue can be delayed, or maybe not.

I'm the kind of person that hates conflict but I hate feeling pushed around more. So I would probably go on the offensive after having my husband demand things from me for his children, to whom I'd always been kind and generous. I would perceive this as my husband preferring his older kids to my gestating baby, and I would be filled with rage and resentment like you wouldn't believe.

Read some of paintedhand's blogs if you can. She just had a baby, and has had to deal with her husband feeling like xyz isn't 'fair' to his other kids. The only thing that isn't 'fair' is that YOU are the mom to this kid and not to your husband's other kids. Too bad that his other kids don't have your genes and your unconditional love. But that's reality, he'd better suck it up and start getting grateful or he might be moving down the hall to bunk with his boys on his way out to the cardboard box on the side of the road.

My daughter slept in her crib from night one in her nursery and this woman has the right to have a nursery for her baby. My baby slept thru the whole night consistently from one month on and her room was where she slept. Also, a seperate nursery for the baby to take her daytime naps is important.

I can't even believe this is an issue for A--your skids, B--Your DH, and C--the BM. The skids are full related. They are the same gender even. Sure, they didn't previously share a room because there was this other empty room just sitting there unused. Well, now the OP is having a child, their half sibling, which is her right! This should not even be in question. The skids double up--end of story.

I'll do you one better: I have DS14 and ss11. They currently share a room (because of the way our house is laid out -- i HATE the layout of our house by the way. DH actually builds houses for a living and we are eventually going to remodel ours, but I AM NOT PAYING FOR IT! He needs to be the one to pay for the remodel...but that's another whole blog) and they aren't even blood relations. They ARE the same gender. Well, no one argues about it. My exH doesn't care. BM doesn't care. DH doesn't care. I don't really care. SS doesnt care. DS14 doesn't care.

In fact, we have a full basement already set up for one of them to inhabit. They prefer not to do so and to share instead. They tend to prefer this and feel "lonely" or "bored" bunking alone.

I feel the older my bioson (now 14) gets, that he will naturally migrate to the much cooler basement, but for now, that's the set up.

I seriously am a little mad at your DH, BM, and skids--who all 4 seem like they have a major entitlement problem!