im sick of this! :(
I'm sick of sitting around watching my boyfriends kids on a daily basis bc he had to go and pick a night shift job! Wtf! I'm not their mom, I'm pregnant, and I'm getting very tired of him sleeping away his life and making me deal with his kids!!!! I can't leave bc I love him ughh I hate this idk what to do anymore! I have no energy and I'm getting to the point where I'm ignoring his kids aNd its not fair to them! Where the hell is their mom!
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Where is their mom?? Maybe
Where is their mom??
Maybe your boyfriend needs to hire a babysitter....it's ridiculous he expects you to do all the babysitting , especially cuz he isn't even your husband !!!! Arrgghhh......I feel for you and I can imagine it is very annoying and frustrating!!
Their mom is an ass she has
Their mom is an ass she has four kids two from another guy and sees none of them its very sad...idk what his deal is but I think he thinks bc he's here I'm not really babysitting, he'll come out every now and then and say you guys better be behaving? What is that and I feel guilty leaving bnc one he's trying to sleep and two his kids are going to be bored outta their mind and drive him crazy...he can't afford a babysitter. Its so stressful bc my body just doesn't wanna move n their only 5 and 6 so they can't fend for themselves
Is he supporting you
Is he supporting you financially ?? Do you work outside the home?
If you are at home all the time and don't work, I can understand you keeping the kids. It's annoying but that's the price you may have to pay for being at home.
If you work and contribute to the bills then HELL NO, he needs to figure it out and you are being used in my opinion.
No I just lost my job a few
No I just lost my job a few weeks ago and yes he's supporting me and I'm very grateful for it...I'm not saying I don't want to help out bc I do help alllot I just want a little free time for myself and even with him. I understand completely that he's working and needs sleep. The thing I'm most frustrated about is that their mom isn't around and I kinda just fell into playing mommy completely by surprise and now I'm stuck in a hole
Could you tell him how you
Could you tell him how you feel? I wouldn't nag or bitch I'd just say something like your very tired and pregnant and need to be refreshed so you can be the best you can be to him and his kids.
You don't mind helping out, but relationships are partnerships and all the responsibility shouldn't fall on just one person. Were you helping with his kids this much before you lost your job??
Maybe suggest he take them out for awhile to the library or dollar movie , there are things that are free or fairly inexpensive.
When my bios were little and they got on my nerves and I needed some " me " time, I used to have coloring contests. I had them both color an entire picture with lots of detail...lol....while I read a book for an hour or so.
I also had them do puzzles a lot, and play doh.....they should be able to entertain themselves for an hour or so a few times a day at 4 and 5.
I know it's tough especially when they aren't your kids.......if your BF isn't willing to help out you gotta set your own mousetrap so you can get some time to yourself.
I don't know where you live, but if it is warm there.....hook up your hose to sprinkler and let them run in the water and you sit outside with a magazine or book and relax.
Sorry, that's all I can offer in cheap or free entertainment!
Hang in there!!
Iv tried to tell him how I
Iv tried to tell him how I feel he is understanding and doesn't get upset but he doesn't do anything about it. I know he supports me in some ways but I still have my own money and I pay my own bills so as far as I'm concerned its not really my job to mother them its not even babysitting at this point, I get up with them in the morning I make them breakfast, I give them snacks, I make them lunch, I cook them dinner, I set them up with games, I do the dishes, I do the laundry, his daughter still pees her pants I was her up and change her, I'm not their mom and they are not very respectful kids....when I have my own baby I don't wanna sound cruel, but my baby will be my life and I won't complain about getting him or her ready bc I chose to have this baby I didn't choose to have their mom leave when I came around and I certainly didn't choose become the mother all of a sudden...its just not fair to me and I don't want to leave, but idk how to fix this
It won't get fixed unless you
It won't get fixed unless you speak up. Make sure he knows that these kids need to see their mother. And a night shift job is not an excuse to sleep the rest of the day. I work day shift but that doesn't mean I sleep all afternoon, you know? Make sure that the work load is distributed fairly or when that baby is born, you are going to be in big trouble! I guess what I'm saying is stick up for yourself and tell him that you are feeling this way. He can't read your mind.
iv spoken to him plenty of
iv spoken to him plenty of times and their mom is just a loser hes not keeping them from her...and when the baby does come thats what im most worried about with eerything thats going on, but hes so set in his ways and thinks hes right all the time its just hard
yes its very sad and
yes its very sad and pathetic! i just dont understand how you can have something growing inside of you and just let it go with no shame...i already love my baby so much and im only 16 weeks pregnant! Its discusting....
Ya luckily she learned her
Ya luckily she learned her lesson four kids later n got herself fixed! Lol
If he needs another job to
If he needs another job to make ends meet, then he needs to find a sitter...not your kids, not your problem. Crazy men think they can marry us and we take care of their kids...if they were single and had to have a second job, they wouldn't see their kids...too bad.
Congrats on your pregnancy...focus on you.
PS - not fair to the kids? Don't feel guilty...those who aren't being fair are the parents who decided to have them and then expect others to take care of them...NOT YOU
First of all I'm not refusing
First of all I'm not refusing to help out I simply want help they are not my children n I shouldn't have to be stuck at home all day with other peoples kids...second of all if u read what I wrote before you would kno he isn't paying for everything for me I pay my own shit...and third of all your not helping at all so please get off my page thank you....
Ok well I did just say I am
Ok well I did just say I am supporting myself I pay my own shit and I got let go before they even knew I was pregnant...
Well....You are in a hard and
Well....You are in a hard and also a good place....You are new in all of this...so there is still time to save you years of heart ache.....GET and READ some step parent books!! Very helpful and I WISH i had dont this!!!!!! The kids dont have structure...you will want to get BF to take part in setting structure for his current kids and for your new baby to be
You have the upper hand because you have a non involved BM! (no court battles/EOW visits and crap right now!) Take some time to make a list of things you would like to change...plus what you like about the way things are now and then list the "ideal" family setting for you/BF/skids and your new baby.....then work like H3LL to blend this...BF may be as over whelmed as you are...MOST men have NO CLUE!! They dont know they are slackers til we women say ENOUGH!!!!! So try to be gentle and work on giving him a clue....Before you are so overwhelmed and angry that you want to walk away!!! Again the StepParent books give WONDERFUL ideas of what to and what NOT to do....
Try the ideas that the above poster suggested....play do (can send recipie for homemade stuff if you like)coloring...sprinkler...Plus get a reward for helping/good behavior system set up now.....it will help you so much!
As you know Nagging BF wont help...encouraging him to be/get on board in a loving way WILL help.....NOW while you are in the early stages before he and his family has a yard long list of "How YOU have screwed up HIS kids and how you love your bio baby more and so on and so on......(sad but true)
Good Luck! BTW will the skids start kgarden soon? what about Head start? pre school.....Look in to it...i would think at their age they would be able to go at least part of a day and it doesnt cost...your time to treat yourself to the last little bit of sleep and alone time you will have for a ling time...they learn and have friends...you have peace and quite....a real win win
Yme thank you I'll have to
Yme thank you I'll have to look into that! His kids do attend school kindergarten and first grade, but I got a taste of what it was like when they had a little vacation for the week and summers coming up and I can't handle them everyday, u should have seen them tonight ooooh my goodness iv never been so angry with kids before in my life I had to walk away and ignore them bc I didn't wanna yell at them I mean I'm only 22 years old and this is my first time dealing with kids and since they aren't mine I didn't get a chance to learn how to control them as they grew...I'm really trying my hardest not to lose control and my bf is seeing it and he feels guilty and bad that he's sleeping, so now he's not getting the right sleep he needs after a long night of work, idk I'm just rambling about everything right now I'm so stressed I'm to the point I want to take a break from it all, but I love my bf so much that I can't bring myself to do that...
It is so hard and I fully
It is so hard and I fully understand where you are coming from...It is a night mare raising other peoples kids....you seem to really care...that is a big plus DH and I both worked nights 7p=7a.....it was so hard to function on no or little sleep...BF needs to work hard to set his sleeping pattern to be able to be up and about when school lets out...he owes it to you and to them...also look now into a summer program...BF may even get some help with the cost because of 1 income....Hang in there and Please do read the book on step parenting...I see where I made mistakes and could have done things so differently....felt like reading a book about it made me a bad step mom...:( My bad.....
It can be good with a little practice and help...:-) Vent here all you need!! We have all had simular feelings so you are not alone!
So far you have been the most
So far you have been the most kind and helpful person on here and I appreciate it I will definitely look into everything u have mentioned, I won't let this break me down I kno I'm strong enough to handle this I just need a little guidance to help me through it all!
Been there hate to see you
Been there hate to see you suffer....((hugs)) get some rest...Dont let them win...send them to bed and take a bubble bath