Operation get the kid a job!
We are making progress with SS17. We finally got the child support stopped!!! YAY!!!!
He is cleaning his room, making his bed, keeping his bathroom clean. He's putting the dishes away for me when I ask. He does his own laundry. He helps clean up the kitchen after we make dinner. He is no longer leaving clothes and shoes out in the living room. He feeds the dogs for us. He does slack off if he can and he does get an attitude sometimes but he has really come a long way.
I am sticking to my guns and enforcing the boundaries! It is a bit exhausting but I'm doing it 
This is huge progress! It took us three summers to get him this far! He just moved in with us three weeks ago and I have been very adamant about enforcing basic rules of respect and cleaning up after yourself in our house. Yay me! I have come a long way too.... just last summer I was still fretting over his stealing my seat on the couch all the time!
He has lost 55 pounds since last summer and he goes to the gym a lot now. This is all a complete turn around he has made in his life. And he is sticking with it.
But he's still pretty darn lazy! It drives me crazy that he sleeps most of the day still!!! Is this normal for teenagers? He acts as though just making his bed is some type of exhausting ordeal.
He needs to get a job. Anybody have advice for job hunting for a teenager? I have wanted him to start putting in applications everywhere because I am assuming it will take weeks or months to find something. DH wants to make sure he has his driver's license before we start the job hunting process though.
He is 17 but DH is holding off a bit longer on getting him a driver's license due to the fact that BM didn't let him drive very much. He has no highway driving experience and DH said he needs to drive with him more before he feels it's safe to let him out on the roads alone. Yesterday they were almost in a horrendous accident and SS17 didn't even want to drive at all after that. Although he is 17, he seems to be a year or two behind other kids his age in some ways due to lack of guidance and attention from his mother.
It is slow progress but we seem to be getting somewhere. I can't thank you folks here enough. You've helped me to stand up for myself and be a better step mom in the process.
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Yay for progress! Sounds like
Yay for progress! Sounds like you're on the right track. Hope it keeps getting better.
Sleeping all day is very typical for a teenager, as annoying as it is. My SS23 still does it on occasion. As far as the job hunting goes, here is my advice...your SS needs to know he is not above any job. My SS somehow thought he was above fast food or anything he considered "manual labor" (which was everything). With no experience, teens need to take what they can get. And sadly, many companies do not want to hire minors because of the restrictions with times and hours. This was a problem my SD ran into a lot. Remind your SS he's not going to find his dream job the first time out, nor is he going to get paid a lot or have a great job title. My SS got this ridiculous notion in his head that he'd get some awesome job at the age of 19 that would pay so well and be so great that he wouldn't need college. Sure buddy, your prior experience is Burger King! You're not gonna run the company the first day! I'm pretty sure all teenagers are not that delusional and unrealistic, but just a warning because somehow this generation of kids doesn't have the greatest work ethic and thinks the world owes them a great job with great pay even though they've never lifted a finger before.
Good luck to him, it will take a while. Just tell him to keep applying for as many things as he can find, be dressed and groomed nicely to put in applications, be upbeat, outgoing and smile!
I wish I had some advice!
I wish I had some advice! BS17 has been looking for a summer job, but they're hard to come by in our area. It seems you have to start looking in February or March since most places like to line up their help ahead of time. He'll take anything he can get at this point as he's saving for a car.
I agree with the others that he has to be open to taking whatever he can find. Your very first job is rarely your dream job!
Yes, sleeping most of the day is pretty normal for teens. BS goes to bed around midnight-2am and gets up around 11am. Their circadian rhythms are different than ours.
At the very least, if BS doesn't find work he'll be volunteering to help out at the summer program for younger kids at his martial arts school so he's not home all day rotting away in front of the PlayStation!
Wow. Amazing progress! I
Wow. Amazing progress!
I wish I knew what to make a teenager get a job.
SS18 still does not have a job. DH bought him a car, paid for his insurance and SS "just can't find a job". We see HELP Wanted signs all over the place but this kid says no one is hiring. ??
I think he is probably showing his spoiled, entitled self and doesn't really want to work and figures as long as he can get someone else to pay his way why not.
Thanks for the great
Thanks for the great advice!!! And I feel much better to know that this sleeping all day thing is typical. It is annoying as heck but at least it is a phase... I hope!
I will work on DH with the job search thing and pass along the tips you gave me. I can definitely see SS17 hating any job he gets and hasn't thought about that part so thank you for the heads up!!!
For some reason I have become the parent who enforces things like this. DH doesn't allow disrespectful behavior but he is a bit too lenient about SS17's lack of motivation.
We will muddle through this! Lol
Thank you!!!