OT: One of my dudes …
So if you recall, I was stuck trying to decide between two dudes I was dating
Well everything was going so good with the dude I chose (thought we'd be riding off into the sunset in wedded bliss in 10 months) lol ...... until he wanted to go all the way with physical intimacy but hemmed and hawed about getting an std test
Im getting one for myself for peace of mind but I was completely turned off by his reluctance to take his and my intimate health seriously
His response was imo very immature and typical of what cluessless twenty year olds do ... and he's damn near retiree age
"oh I'm disease free"
"oh I'm very selective with partners"
"oh I had a procedure few months ago and was tested then"
"what do we need to do that for"
"trust me!"
Like ninja do you think I was born last night ??? I need to see RECEIPTS!!!
I know a lot of people have medical and health conditions so that's not what concerns me (especially if a proactive approach is involved). What concerns me is he is so thoughtful in every aspect of his life EXCEPT intimate health where he seems so far to be impulsive, immature, and reckless
So now I'm out here investing in my sexual health which is something i thought we'd do together and our time together has been put on pause until he meets me where I am with this topic
Not sure if he's testing my response, afraid of doctors (we know how men can be about doctor avoidance sometimes), or he thinks/knows he has some sexual health issue he doesn't want to face (and by default doesn't mind negatively impacting someone else life)
Either way .... my attraction to him as significantly decreased
Ughhhhh!!!! He was ideal in soooo many ways up to this point
I hope I'm wrong and he gets tested but at this point I'm not holding my breath and I'm taking care of ME right now
*Le sigh*
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Oh and forgot he had some
Oh and forgot he had some sort of condom induced impotence .... joy!
So I've pretty much drawn a hard line that no test = no physical intimacy
Yeah no. I'm not saying he's
Yeah no. I'm not saying he's got an STD. He is probably afraid of the swab in the "pee pee" to test for gonorrhea and chlamydia.
Or maybe he's afraid of needles.
Either way, he sounds like a big baby and I would hold the line on this one.
My first husband was a virgin when we met, so no tests needed. My 2nd husband had been with the same woman for 30 years prior to me, having had only one other partner before that, so I felt safe.
However, my last partner had dated and slept with at least 2 other women after his late wife of 27 years died. He said he'd never worn condoms - ever.
I was pretty active prior to my first marriage, but since 1987, I've only had 4 partners and 3 of them were my long term relationships. Still, I've had STD tests at the beginning and end of each relationship which have been clean. Going forward, I will require an STD panel before being intimate with anyone. And I will hold the line on that.
You're doing the right thing! Stick to your guns.
I certainly hope he doesn't
YES! This is how I'm rolling as well
and most guys I know don't like condoms either but in todays times we cannot afford to be out here raw without some proof of assurance
I certainly hope this guy doesn't have an STD
I can't tell you how I wish I could do him (I can tell he'd be a good lover) lol so it would deflate my fantasies
But yes my irrational or maybe rational fears are taking over and this is one way I can rest assured.
He needs to go to the darn
He needs to go to the darn physician and just get it done. His response really hits a nerve and irks me. My husband can be so immature at times and it's a real turn off. I would keep my eyes open for what type of responses in general he has. Of course with this issue he needs to do it, it's not a choice at all. Women's health is important and he should care about your comfort surrounding intimacy.
Exactly those responses were
Exactly those responses were ridiculous and I'm wondering if he was trolling or just mentally gathering himself to do what he knows he needs to do
If he has condom induced
If he has condom induced impotence, he hasn't been wearing them. With Tinder and all the other apps now, he could have slept with hundreds of women.
If he has condom induced
Agreed!
mind boggling ... tinder ruining men's purity lol
Update: he said he would try
Update: he said he would try to clear his schedule to go.
We shall see.
and if he does .... best believe I'm looking over his shoulder and logging into his portal to see the results ... I don't trust a pdf that can be altered
It will be telling to see if
It will be telling to see if his attitude shifts and he can be more understanding and if he just goes out and does it with no problem. It shouldn't be a big deal. Good idea on checking. You can't be too sure when it comes to it. Things surrounding sex are a big deal to me. To feel safe and comforted and all around supported
Unless you are supper carful with condoms
And nobody is. It's not going to stop STD's. And. There's other oral activities where is hard to request putting on on. Maybe he's afraid of getting the blood test. Getting stuck ? But your health is more important .
Maybe he's afraid of getting
could be
i definitely insisted on testing for EVERYTHING not just those 4 stds that the doctors office will test for .... no I need to see the results of everything (hiv/aids, syphillis, herpes 1 & 2, gonhorrea, chlamidia, hpv, all of it ... blood tests and urine and swabs ... from the rooter to the tooter ...
As much as these men be trying to push for condom-less seggs....I'm pushing harder for testing
and you're right Harry ... caution should be used during oral activities that can also be a weak spot for stds to happen