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Disneyland Dad with Mini-Wife/Husband Syndrome

Lillywy00's picture

Submitted by Lillywy00 on Wed, 07/12/2023 - 6:07pm

One reason I don't like this Disneyland dad's behavior is because he has no boundaries with his ex-wife nor kids or whoever else 

'Specifically his daughter

Last night the little girl - 11 yo - calls at 11;30pm ...... and this c*nt answers! 
 

Granted he rushed her off but still inappropriate imo....so I decided to go to sleep and ignore him instead of pay any attention to him

 

Then a few months ago I noticed he changed his phone wallpaper Lock Screen to his daughters baby picture (inappropriate again because it's like he infantilizes her which leads to coddling and shows me who is his top priority - the mini spous) then I saw his deceased mother who I can't stand even though I never met her (because she coddled him and failed to properly raise him into a man) looking very unhappy and matronly on his unlocked Home Screen.

 

i guess he took the couples pic off when he noticed I didn't have pics of him. 
 

i have pics of food and the generic Lock Screen. 
 

Anyways it's just a reminder of my dissatisfaction and his cluelessness to get himself right 

Comments

Harry's picture

Submitted by Harry on Wed, 07/12/2023 - 6:22pm

It's not really your choice.  These people who are still in a relationship with the ex. Should not be dating.  No one should date a SO who didn't end the first relationship.  Unfortunately kids are different, you can't end the relationship with your kids.  But your SO must come first.  Understanding in a normal marriage,kids come first.  But once you divorce, looking for a new relationship, kids has to take a back seat.  Kids are there for life, SO have ther own mind and can leave if things don't go a good way.

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Thu, 07/13/2023 - 6:57pm

is part of the reason why 50% of first marriages end and even a higher % of subsequent marriages fail. IMHO.

My brother(s) and I are fortunate that our parents kept that message loud and clear our entire lives.  They just had their 61st anniversary.

My brother and his wife will have their 30th in a couple of months. My DW and I will have our 29th in a couple of weeks.  In my family, my GrandDad and I (dad's dad) are the only divorcees.  GrandDad and I both learned from the first one. GrandDad and GrandMother (she was very formal) were married for more than 50yrs before GrandDad passed.

I have never heard a single story or personally observed instance where "the kids come first" was the message.

My first engineering tech job, during engineering school, was when I first heard an adult spout that message. A lady I worked with was talking with other ladies one shift and said "If my husband ever said anything bad about my kids, I would kick him out."  Her kids, were their kids.   I was stunned by that comment. 

It was so foreign to my life experience, even post divorce, that it made a life long impression on me.

I completely recognize that choosing to be a parent is the only truly life long and eternal decision anyone can make. Sadly, marriage isn't (as I have experienced). But, raising children to viable durable adulthood has to include demonstrating for them that a spouse always comes first.  Ceteris paribus.

Again, IMHO.

Lillywy00's picture

Submitted by Lillywy00 on Fri, 07/14/2023 - 12:48pm

I never thought about it like this before and it makes sense now. 

This dude claims his exwife did not want to divorce (he did it anyways AFTER he cheated on her....still doesn't take responsibility for his actions but that's another topic) AND assumed he would get back with her and re-marry her because she knew he was obsessed (imo to an unhealthy level) with his degenerate kids. 

So, if this woman is salty the dude is leaving her, feeling powerless about it, the only way she can control and put things back in her favor is to make sure the dude continues to obsess over those kids/unreasonably put those kids at the forefront of everything. Most SO's aren't going to like this, so it's a good way to run off the new SO. 

The old 'If I can't have no, no one else can' mentality

I do realize that if, deep down, I know this isn't going to work for me - despite my best efforts - then I need to exit and be single / be with someone more compatible because it's not like the kids can leave if they don't like it but I can leave.