My husband has 5 kids and I adore them all. the youngest is a handful but much better with every passing year. I truly do adore these kids and as the two older ones are reaching 17 and 15 we are seeing less and less of them (glued to their friends). Money has always been tight since I met my husband and his family but we managed to have a vasectomy reversal done a few months ago. I fell pregnant very quickly, however, I have just lost the baby sadly. What I didn't expect to feel quite as much as I have...is RELIEF. I think having my partner's kids every weekend plus half school holidays has been very hard for me on top of part time nursing work. We are doing up a property we bought and living in a small flat until we can rent out the other place so we have been totally crammed in for 3 years now. The kids are on mattresses on the floor and rarely complain but I feel bad for them. So when I fell pregnant and knew I had to give up working the financial situation became even more concerning. My partner has his own business making web sites but this has been slow and we have had many arguments regarding how hard he is working (I should add he has worked very hard in his life and I think he is burnt out, I am the first woman to support him financially). So...I love my husband and now I am wondering....do I love these gorgeous step kids with all my heart and be great at that role and take my partner travelling and embark on courses that I have longed to do etc....or do we try again for a biological baby knowing that it will probably be quite stressful but possibly the greatest feeling in the world???? I LOVE dogs by the way and treat my dog like my baby. I also have only 1 sister and 2 parents in their late 60's as we left England when I was little therefore no rellies in my own family really. I feel tired at age 40 and have a history of depression so I'm also worried that having a bio child could either make this much worse...or better considering how lonely I may feel one day without kids of my own. My head is SPINNING over these issues I would so appreciate anyone's insight into the need to have children when I'm happy within a step family (hopefully forever) but one never knows do they??