She is moved in
It was dhs weekend with sd so he got her Friday and went to return her Sunday but bm was gone. G.O.N.E. She left and didn't say goodbye to sd and she took ALL of sds belongings with her. Her clothes, her tooth brush, her drumsticks she left, her mother took it all! I knew we had to buy some stuff but this was just mean and cruel. You don't hurt your child like this no matter how mad you are. Sd is walking around like a zombie and she is weepy. Dh took her shopping for some clothes but he can't replace what she had right away. I ordered her some drumsticks with her name on them and a drum pad. I know she will be excited and hopefully that will pull her out of her trance. She also has barely eaten since Sunday. I bought her favorite junk food and I am sneaky about getting her to eat it. I chased her out the door with her favorite poptarts this morning so I know she is getting some nourishment. Last night I made bagel bites and sat next to her and offered them so she ate some while she watched tv. I'm heartbroken for her right now. Any tips besides don't smother her?
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Bm told dh she bought it so
Bm told dh she bought it so it stays with her and if sd wants it she can move. She is being a real bitch.
Wow, she must have missed the
Wow, she must have missed the message about loving your kids more than you hating your ex. The stuff, I kind of agree with her, that she paid for it so she keeps it, though it would have been good to get sd to pack some stuff she wanted to keep there. The real bitch move is not saying bye and just disappearing! Who the duck does that to their child? Has sd spoken to her mom since she left?
We knew we were getting her
We knew we were getting her furniture but we thought sd would have her belongings. She is sad that she has nothing but a damn toothbrush. Bm took everything that she had. I understand her being dien as her mom took everything she had and didn't bother to hug her goodbye. She isn't being dramatic she is hurting.
She packed 2 outfits and that
She packed 2 outfits and that was all she had till dh took her shopping. He allows her to take everything he buys her home.
I would talk to the school
I would talk to the school and let her counselor at school know. They may not be aware what has happened and school counselors are a great resource for kids who need someone to talk to or advocate for them. They should also have a heads up, in case her grades start falling, or her behavior at school changes.
That's so sad. I would
That's so sad. I would definitely take her to do some fun stuff and get in some one on one time. Or make a big deal about painting her room together and redecorating.
Definitely tell her
Definitely tell her counselors and teachers before her grades start slipping. It's good to replace the things she needs and replace some of the personal valuables she lost but don't get carried away. And your expectations that the drumsticks will resolve her funk is a bit high. She might act like losing those drumsticks is what's upsetting her but I think she's just saying it's the drumsticks when really she's trying to deal with the abandonment and anger her mother is holding against her.
Great advice guys. Fingers
Great advice guys. Fingers crossed this goes well.
Aubrey said it was her moms
Aubrey said it was her moms way of saying that to.
Oh. How do I change it?
Oh. How do I change it?
This makes me very angry. And
This makes me very angry. And I am hurting for you SD. The BM of my SS14 did a disappearing act a couple of times on him. The first time was when she initially left...just up and did so in the middle of the night. No goodbye or nothing. She moved back and then moved away in the same manner a second time. So SS experienced the sudden abandonment twice. This is when he was 4 and then when he was 6 ish???
He's been in my life since he was 7. Whenever he talks to his Mom and he starts to feel "unloved" by her; I usually pull something out of my arsenal of tools. We make something together (cookies or brownies) or go on a special dinner date just us. Or we fix something in his room. It's just about letting him know that even tho at this point in his life (stinky boy teenager); I am not going anywhere and I still love him.
For you SD I might suggest the same. Do something with her that you guys both like. Pedicure together? Pick out a new poster for her room? Something that says, You are wanted.
DH should immediately file
DH should immediately file for sole custody.... this will protect SD for the future..
smothering her, yes that can be a problem, simply sit and watch TV, talk to her.... let her deal with this in her own way and simply say to her... kiddo if you ever need to talk I am here... then go on with life like normal.
Nothing wrong in spoiling a kid now and again, but now it's done...couple off days and over, back to life, this will teach children that life goes on...