So it's been over a year since my last post
It wasn't that I didn't want to post, it was just that work got busy. Then life got busy. Then Warty got extra busy and made things a nightmare.
Let me try to sum up the last year: Bought a house, the divorce was finally completed, got engaged, got married, gave notice and joined a firm. All great things. Except overshadowing everything is BM.
Let me sum up her year. Got sentenced to 30 days jail. Got out, got supervised visits. Got placed on probation for her misdemeanor charges in April. Seemed to be doing ok, got drunk in June. Got sanctioned for getting drunk again, in July. No probation violations, of course. Got drunk again in August, called now DH, begging him to break it off with me and give her another chance. (Mind you these are the times she got caught....I am sure the drinking was an ongoing thing). In September, got drunk AGAIN, ON A VISIT, so we stopped all visitation. September to December was amazing. We had almost no contact. She went to jail for a while after being sentenced to probation, AGAIN, in October. I was in court on that day, and the judge said something about having two master's degrees and how she should get her life turned around (don't think I didn't get some mileage out of that in front of that judge with every poor client I had for several weeks).
Now we are in March and she is having visits again. It's ok for the most part, the bigger issue now is money. She pays at will. We aren't rich by any stretch of the imagination and we can't really afford to hire a new lawyer. His old lawyer is applying for my soon to be old job and leaving private practice. She now has two jobs and pays $500 a month for four kids. She's a manager at a big store and has a second job. She refuses to pay for her share of childcare. Of course.
Is it sad that I want to take over representing DH just so I can make her lose her shit on the stand while I cross examine her? She still doesn't call me by my name. Still berates the children if they even mention me. Still sends hateful and ridiculous text messages. I love DH and don't regret my decision to marry him, and I am one of the lucky ones who has fantastic step children so raising them and helping to care for them is not a problem. But man I would love to make her squirm on the stand and watch her try to justify acting like a crazy person just because I am asking the questions.
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Well, for one I am
Well, for one I am emotionally involved which makes it less likely that I will see the legal issues and will be drawn into an emotional fight. Two, I hate her, but I want what is best for the kids and I am afraid my animosity would drive me to do things in her case that wouldn't be the best for the kids. I try to stay out of it now, only giving minor advice from time to time when the spouse asks about the meaning of something in the decree or the right way to handle something. And while I hate her, I make sure the kids don't know it by making sure that I am supportive when she doesn't follow through, i.e., " I am sure your mom wanted to be here, I know she loves you very much, she probably just had an emergency or got her times wrong. Adults do that a lot." I am pretty sure that if I represented him I wouldn't be able to keep that facade. Plus, add to all of that, the fact that it would overtake our home. I have fought for three years to keep her "explosions" of drinking and bad behavior on the periphery of what happens to these kids. I don't want them to see from their dad and I that things have happened. I can't stop her from getting drunk in front of them on a visit, though I will damn well try, but I can stop that from coming home and being a problem they are faced with as well.
Can you even do that? Isn't
Can you even do that?
Isn't it a conflict of interest? (says the person COMPLETELY addicted to Law and Order)
LOL, I used to be but then I
LOL, I used to be but then I watched all those episodes. Now I am addicted to Dexter. A conflict of interest occurs when your interests are adverse to your client's, or when you represent two clients who have adverse interests to one another. It's a bad idea to do it, but ethically it's a sound one. But it's not the right one.
Can you believe I never
Can you believe I never watched it when it was on. I started watching it on Netflix because DH loved it and I thought I would humor him with one episode, maybe two. Now I am six seasons in and our weekends off from the kid, it's like pulling teeth to get me away from the t.v. Which has shown it's effects on my sex life and my waist line
I know I shouldn't, and I
I know I shouldn't, and I probably won't. My best friend from law school said if I bought her wine and two tanks of gas she would drive down and be my surrogate bitch in heels. But could you just imagine the look on BM's face if she got my entry of appearance. She would shit.
I won't do it, but man I really want to.......
As for me being the reason for things....she has already gone there a few times. The younger kids don't get it and the older kids don't believe it so far....my SD10 is eternally devoted to her dad and I. SD8 still loves her mom tremendously and I point to her as the model SD10 should follow when she bad mouths her mom. SS5, eh, he likes Batman. That's as complicated as he gets and SD3 wants to watch Frozen again.....I thought I'd never miss Despicable Me 2, and then I bought Frozen
In my former life I was a
In my former life I was a family law attorney. I won't actually do it but man today she was such a spoiled little snit that I wanted to say something. I refrained but it would be funny to watch her head explode. Alas....cooler heads have prevailed.