Ex wife refuses to meet me and then sends pictures of herself to my husbands parents for christmas.
I am new to this site. It was great to find. I have 4 children of my own from a previous marriage, all but one who is 17 ( the baby) is on their own. My husband has a son 15 who lives with his mom. My husband has been divorced for 5 years and we have been married for 2 years. This christmas my step son came with a wrapped gift for my husbands parents. We asked his son what what in the box. His son told us it was pictures of him.
When it was opened at christmas by my in laws it contained pictures of my husbands ex and various pictures of her with his son. Both my husband and I felt it was very poor taste.
This is only a small part of the picture. She has refused to meet me after two years even though his son stays with us quite a bit. Recently she is either e mailing him with threats and telling him what a rotten father he is or e mailing with requests for him to spend more time co parenting thier son together.
I am not sure how to deal with her at this point. I thought after two years it would fix itself. Any suggestions.
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First of welcome
First of Welcome
Second bm has obviously still feelings for your H and till she is over the fact that it is over and he wont come back, you have to deal with a lot of Bullsh**. It maybe takes 1 year or maybe 10 years but she as to move on one day.
To the spending more time co parenting part, you and your h have your household and she has hers. You both just need to find a good way for the child to communicate ( what is hard if she is acting like a B!tch ). If she doesn’t wanne meet you , well met her lol. Just go with your H on pick ups ( I did the same and it broke the ice) also it shows her that you are not going anywhere and that you are a part of h life and that she has no control over your and his life. You have to make your self known . To the pictures , well that is just a poor move to still be in Your in laws life, that is not her family anymore and sooner or later she has to realize that. So don’t let that stress you, if I see the bm right , there is A LOT more that you have to expect from this woman. So just be happy that you have this side and ppl that totally understand you and been there already.
first of welcome
I have actually gone myself to pick up the SS alnog with my DH but the BM will not come to the door or come outside. The SS is always waiting with his bags ready. We have him every other weekend every wenesday night and most of the summer. I have caught here sevarl times looking out the window but never coming out. She also went so far as to leave the SS at his 8th grade graduation last year early so she did not have to run into us. ( We were taking SS for the weekend) My DH saw her make a quick get away. ( I still do not even know what she looks like) We have been to 2 choir high school concerts.where she came in late and left before us. Again I did not see this since I do not know what she looks like. So I guess I should be thankful even though I always made it a point to be friendly to my exs wife becasue she was th eone there when I was not.
I am hoping it will get better with time my DH has been very supportive and has been very straight forward with him Mom and with the SS.
HI, Welcome to the sight we can be your new best friends
I had some of the same issues. I've only seen her face to face 3 times in 6 years,and got to listen to her chew my butt for an hour on the phone, other than that we have had NO contact.
I figured I'm in her kids life it's not up to me to get to know her. So things got off to a bad start right away,and haven't changed since.
She sends pics of my SS to his grandparents (she isn't in them, but they can't stand her, and she hasn't figured it out yet,she still tries to make nice with them).years ago She did give a picture of her and SS to my husband on christmas from SS, I was PISSED, it was a picture that a husband sets on his desk at work. If that was my kid and he wanted to do that i would of told him to find a differant picture that dad might like better, or just you and give him that, WHAT A JOKE, We put it in his room for him to have. I think if your SS is 15 he is old enough to have a talk with and tell him grandma and grandpa don't care to have pics of his mom.
my husbands BM put a picture
my husbands BM put a picture of his ex and there son in her house. I was so mad!! my husband made her take it down. she started to be nicer to me when I had the grand Daughter. But TO LATE. she burned that bridge a long time ago. no rebuilding.
and my husband step mother has a photo album of the ex and the son several of them, i cant do much about that one because the stepmother is a strong one that i choose not to fight with.
This happened to me once
When I first started dating my H 6 years ago SD was 3 1/2 yrs and BM kicked him out (she was cheating) 2 yrs prior.
The first time I went to his parents home to visit on a Sunday--on the sofa table was a old family pic of the three of them!! I didn't realize what is was at first (I had never seen BM). My H quickly stood in front of it! Later at my apt he says "I'm sorry about that photo, my parents just want SD to know that we were in love at some point." I said nothing.
The next time I went over there it was gone...6 years later I haven't seen it since. But last Saturday my MIL said something that made me think that my SD BM and her were talking on the phone.....
BM thinks I am crazy and my MIL loves me. Maybe thats why we haven't heard anything from BM in a month???? Or is it becuz SD hasn't lied about me??? I hope my MIL is not talking to BM, I would feel a bit betrayed.
MIL
My mil still occasionally talks to BM. My DH has let my MIL know that he is uncomfortable with it. So MIL is trying to stop the communications but MB keeps calling her and to puts my MIL in a bad spot. BM calls to get information on my DH but I think my MIL is doing her best. It is very hard to have a relationship with you MIL if the old BM is still trying to maintain a family relationship.
Thats just rude and tacky. I
Thats just rude and tacky. I have a very close relationship with my inlaws from my first marriage.However, I would NEVER send pics of me and my daughters to them framed and for hanging in their house!!
My ex MIL does have pictures of me and my new husbands and family hanging in her house because I do share pictures with her on the internet and she found one she loved of all of us, copied it, and hung it herself...I didn't send it to her for that purpose though!!
Sounds like this BM is just trying to needle you! What a Bitch!! Perhaps you should copy a nice family picture of all of you and send it to BM's parents for their picture hanging pleasure!!!I am all for giving a person a dose of their own medicene!
In a perfect world their would be retroactive abortion capabilities. disgusted
My MIL has lots of pictures
Of her family framed in her house. But then, she has lots of family (7 kids and spouses, 16 grandkids, 10? great-grands, etc) She has a couple of snapshots of SD's family on the fridge, but none framed. She complained to us that BM wouldn't send pictures of SD alone, only with her little brother, who is no blood relation to MIL. I think BM is trying to make the entire world (even me) feel obligated toward her child because his father ran off before he was born.
I've only met BM 5 times in 3 years, and NEVER talk to her on the phone, but that's because we live 14 hours away. So we pick up and drop off SD when we visit MIL, otherwise SD travels by plane. BM is DH's problem to deal with, although she's been something approaching civilized lately. I think it's a combo of her getting married again and she wants to be Ms. Perfect in SD's and her DH's eyes. It doesn't stop her from saying nasty things about me to DH, but makes 3-min pickups bearable if I don't gag from the fake syrup-sweetness she projects all over the place.
~Trish