If You Can't Text It...It Obviously Wasn't That Important
So I'm spending some time with my SO today and we're getting ready for a little yard sale because we are both broke. BM decides to text him to TELL him to call her because it's important. SO has no actual minutes left on his phone (he has a limited amount of minutes, but unlimited texts and data), so he can't call her. He asked her if it was about the skids, and she wouldn't answer back. I don't know what y'all think about this, but I think that she was just wanting SO's attention and he wasn't gonna give her the time of day. I think now that our relationship has broken down, he really is doing the setting boundaries with BM thing. :)T
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Seriously, if it was a big
Seriously, if it was a big deal she would have responded saying so. my bf BM pulls the same bullshit except by phone. I've requested that they communicate primarily by email (she used to call here ALL the time, day, night all hours when she KNEW he wasn't here) so now once in a blue moon she'll call the house when she knows he's at work and leave a voice message of "call me it's important." - and it NEVER is! haha
I never said that she HAD to
I never said that she HAD to let me see them. She can do whatever she wants for all I care. We got the whole where she is thing figured out because we did call DHS and the cops on her when she ran off. I am depressed because she won't let ME see them and, in turn, will barely let SO see them (because she thinks I am with him everywhere he goes). Unlike some of you, I love my stepkids and I have nothing bad to say about them. SO is trying to be a good dad and BM makes that very difficult. SO and I have had a complete breakdown in our relationship and we are both hoping to work things out and to set things straight. One thing he has to work on is setting boundaries with her. If it were an emergency, I would have him call her from my Google Voice account, but the fact that she did not press the issue of him calling and she didn't reply back when he asked if it was about the kids means that it wasn't that much of an emergency and that she probably just wanted attention. There are always ways of being able to call her if she needs us to and he would have called her if she would have pressed the issue. She did not press the issue. As far as her running off with the kids, when there is a lack of CO, its kind of hard to get the cops involved, but as we felt that the kids could have been in harms way (she really is bipolar), we called DHS and the cops and had a welfare check done. That's how we figured out where she was because she ran to the same place that she always runs away to.
And I'm trying to be happy
And I'm trying to be happy right now because, like I said a couple of days ago, I'm applying to get my old job back. I used to be a casino cashier and I reapplied and should have no problem getting the job back. We're waiting on taxes to come in and I'll be able to get a car. I'm not great at getting my point across and I'm sorry. SO was in jail, he's out now. It's a long story why, but I don't want to get into it because it's really personal to me. My deal with SO is that he needs to set boundaries with her and actually proceed with a paternity action instead of telling me that he's going to and then not. I need to get my life back in order and then see where I am in about a year. I'm trying to be happy, but I have become really attached to these kids and she's being a complete witch about the situation. I can't help that she is the way she is.
They aren't even married
They aren't even married (thank God). I'm a paralegal major in college so I'm trying to do the papers for him, but it's not as easy as it looks because Oklahoma doesn't have set forms for child custody. I do encourage him to at least set up child support through DHS for now, and I do have those papers filled out. SO just has to sign and take them to DHS. She has told people that he cheated on her with me, but truth is, we met at work. I gave him a ride home once, after they had separated. I didn't even get out of my car when I gave him that ride home. We didn't even get together til about a month after she moved her stuff out of his place. That was last Jan.-Feb. Up til we got together, he would occasionally text me "hi" or "what are you doing?" but that was the extent of our friendship before we got together. I did know that he had a kid when we got together. Because she feels that he left her for me, when in reality, she left him for reasons unknown, she does use the kids as pawns to get him to do things her way. Her family encourages her to keep using the kids as pawns. We've had so many problems with her and her family. I've been called a b***h, a c**t, and an immature little girl (mind you, that up til recently, I had my own place, held a full time job, and went to school full time...more than what I can say for BM) by her and members of her family. I have begged and pleaded for she and I to, at least, act civil towards on another. I have had to hide pictures on SO's Facebook from her because her grandmother takes them without permission and Photoshops them. Any pictures of me and SS2, she photoshops me out of the picture. She tried to tell me that SO gave her an STD and was going to give me the same STD (she told me this a week after I had been checked out by my OBGYN). She's cancelled visitations that she has confirmed in writing. She tried to tell me that I almost killed SS2 because I didn't catch that he had a little bit of eczema, which cleared up shortly after the doctor gave her cream to put on him. She tried to tell me that he was allergic to Johnson and Johnson baby wash, even though that was the same baby wash she used. She's complained to SO that I take care of the skids TOO MUCH (mainly SS2). She's gone around telling everyone that SS 7mos is not my SO's child, so we have to arrange DNA testing for him. She has tried to tell us what we can and cannot do in our house. She has blamed me when SS2 decided not to call me by my name. SO and I tried and tried to get the child to call me by my name and he wouldn't. She gave SS 7mos my SO's last name pretty much without his permission. I have been accused of controlling my SO, which I clearly do not. If I did, a CO would have been in place 6-7 months ago. She's told my SO the only way that he would be able to see his kids is he were in a relationship with her. We asked to see SS2 for a couple of hours on his 2nd birthday and she refused because she didn't want SS2 around my SO's family at all that day. As punishment for biting, she once bit SS2 so hard that it left a bruise. I have that one documented. She badmouths my SO, myself and my SO's family in front of the kids. I don't know what else to put. The list goes on and on. And I have all this documented to the best of my ability. I try to document everything I can. But these are some of the reasons why I have so many problems with BM.
Why is it so hard for you and
Why is it so hard for you and BM to walk away from this guy? The ex was crazy enough to have two kids with him so she has to put up with him. However, you are free to walk away.
He's bounced from her to you to her then back to you. He isn't a provider ~lights out, no place to live, no transportation and no job. Other than sex, what does he bring to the table?
While you're wasting time with this guy, you're missing out on the drama free guys.
BM does this every time she
BM does this every time she contacts us. it is infuriating. every time she calls, she will leave a message that says nothing more than "call me", if she leaves a message at all. Or she will send a text that says "call me". it is maddening. If its so goddamned important WOMAN then why dont you SAY SOMETHING?