So BM decided to show up in or town with the skids yesterday. She also made out quite clear that I am not allowed to see them. At all. I had an anxiety attack over this. I guess I'm just tired of feeling like a bad person because of her. I said my piece to her and called her a selfish, shitty mother. It probably wasnt the best choice of words, but I was upset at the time. She won't even be in the same room as me, but I did call her on most of her shit, so I don't blame her. It's her fault that SO is in this situation (no job) anyways. Not mine. If she wants to blame and hate anyone, it can be herself.
SO told me that SS2 kept asking where I was and that BM would give him dirty looks every time he asked about me. SS2 even asked SO if I was dead. I wish I could have seen my skids. I know SO and I are taking a break but I still think of them as my skids.
SO is buying a car later this week. I think I upset him because I have my eye on a Mazda Miata. Its everything I want in a car. It's a convertible, sporty, and small. And it's my favorite color, red. He wants me to have a family car (for the kids), but as much as I love them, they're his kids. He can get more of a family car. Anyways...those are my musings thus far.