My life has become so repetitive I've become bored and depressed. This is how my week monday through sunday goes. Monday through Friday my fionce goes to work from 7:30 to 3:30 so every morning while hes gone I'm at home caring for his little 3yr old boy. SS wakes up about 8:45am every morning sometimes when I'm lucky 10:30. My guy gets home 3:40ish and then I'm off to work for 4:00pm. I only have a short shift but its tiring work I get home about 9:15pm. SS and fionce are sitting cuddling on the couch watching cartoons until about 10:15pm when daddy finally puts him to sleep. Which of course he cries for about 20mins because he doesn't want to sleep he wants to cuddle with daddy. I'm exhausted and irritated every night because this time, when SS is asleep, is the only time I have alone with fionce. I tell him that SS is awake early every morning hes only 3yrs old he needs his sleep and should be put to bed early. I asked fionce countless times to get him on a fair schedule for me. All I ask is that SS is in bed by 9 so that I have a little more time alone with him. Fionce says he doesn't like putting son to bed so early because he wants as much time as possible with him.

This irritates me even more simply because his son lives with us full time, he only sees BM every other weekend. Thats it and thats her choice not the courts. Then the weekend comes and if its the weekend we have him and I work I work the day shift which is long and strenuous I go in for 8am and come home by 3pm. When I get home fionce and step son are waiting for me on the couch ready to do whatever he feels like doing that day. If its a saturday and SS is at his BM's Fionce sleeps in until noon then doesn't get ready for the day until about 2pm. That gives us the rest of the night to have fun. Sunday comes along and I work the morning shift by the time I get home at 3pm SS is home too and I become the house maid again. "sunday is my lazy day" is what fionce says.

Is it crazy that I actually wish the BM was in the picture more? I mean don't get me wrong, I am thrilled that fionce and BM are not on speaking terms (for my sake) in fact they hate eachother but I wish that she actually cared enough to want her son more just to simply give ME a break. I ask fionce if SS can go to grandparents for an extra night just so him and I can do something fun together. Every time I want to do anything fun like going out of town or simply out to dinner he wants to include his son. Which is perfectly fine but EVERY TIME it gets a little annoying. I think I deserve a night to myself, I wish he was half as affectionate with me as he is his son. Its embarrassing sometimes when we all go out together even to simple things like grocery shopping or walking to the park. Him and his son hold hands while I'm shoved in the back behind them or walking a few paces before them.
Sometimes SS wants to hold my hand and walk too but never my fionce, not when were all together that is.

Does he not want people to think that SS is mine? I ask him and he says he doesn't care but then why doe she act that way? I don't even know what I was trying to get at with all this. Just needed to tell someone else about my boring life and see if this was normal? Fionce says this is what happens when you have kids. Maybe so but I don't have kids.. well not biologically anyways, I have his kid as a SS but its different when its not yours.