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I just want some sleep

SleepyAlways's picture

Submitted by SleepyAlways on Thu, 10/04/2018 - 12:13am

I’m a grad student fixing to complete my degree this December. I have clinicals as part of the requirements which is an hour and a half drive away from my city. Clinicals go for 10 hours. After I’m home, I do homework. So I sleep around a little after midnight in most nights. When the skids are here, the other brother (the mama’s boy) tends to wake us up several times throughout the night. I also work full time by the way (12 hours per shift), so in a week I literally have no day off until December. I told my husband that he needs to tell his son to give me a break and let me sleep just until I pass my board exams. But he still won’t listen. So this morning, I told him nicely not to do it again because I’m over fatigued and stressed and I don’t want to get into an accident. Just a few minutes ago, I saw him come our way to the bedroom and I was still awake. I just asked him what are you doing? And he gave me an excuse and turned. God knows what will happen when I sleep tonight. I just need sleep until I pass my board exams.

Comments

Kes's picture

Submitted by Kes on Thu, 10/04/2018 - 2:48am

Welcome to the site!  First choice, of course, is getting your DH to sort it out with the boy - who "won't listen" - the SS or your DH?  Personally, if you have a spare room, or a study,  if it were me I'd go and sleep there until December.  Are you not able to reduce your work load just for 3 months? Working full time 12 hr shifts as well as studying for finals is a punishing schedule for anyone.  

SleepyAlways's picture

Submitted by SleepyAlways on Thu, 10/04/2018 - 9:28am

Thank you Kes. He woke us up again last night. I pretty much yelled at him since I’m at my wit’s end. Then I become the bad person because I’m communicating inappropriately, which I admit I did. My husband instead of being on the same page as me, he started comforting his son. Which I told him that this behavior towards his child while I’m reprimanding the latter is only going to make his child think that it’s ok for him to wake us up all the time since his dad gave him affection while I was mad. I was fine and just tired before all this happened. Now I’m just cranky and I feel like a horrible human being.

beebeel's picture

Submitted by beebeel on Thu, 10/04/2018 - 9:05am

I'm a monster on little to no sleep. Maybe it is time to lose your damn mind on both of them. No sleep makes one cranky! 

I wouldn't change your schedule or slow your progress one freaking second for this nonsense. Either dad puts a stop to it or he pays for a hotel.

SleepyAlways's picture

Submitted by SleepyAlways on Thu, 10/04/2018 - 9:31am

I’m usually decent with a few hours of sleep but if I get woken up several times a night then I get cranky. It takes a lot for me to get irritated and if I’m irritated then I really am. I agree on not slowing my progress especially that he has done this before and has stopped when I told him to. Now it’s just gone so far.

tog redux's picture

Submitted by tog redux on Thu, 10/04/2018 - 9:06am

Yes, sleep in another room, or make DH sleep in another room if it's DH the kid is after during the night.

SleepyAlways's picture

Submitted by SleepyAlways on Thu, 10/04/2018 - 9:33am

My only time with him is when we sleep and the few minutes before he doses off while I’m still studying. I don’t ask for dates or flowers or jewelry, just sleep and a little bit of time.

Harry's picture

Submitted by Harry on Thu, 10/04/2018 - 9:49am

No reason for this Kid to wake you up at night.  DH is the problem not the kid,  DH should take care of this 

Lemon65's picture

Submitted by Lemon65 on Thu, 10/04/2018 - 10:28am

New Rule - SS cannot leave his room until a designated time in the morning, unless he has to use the restroom or there is an emergency. If he wakes anyone up before the designated time, there will be consequences such as no screen time or an early bedtime the following night.

SD used to have a bad habit of waking everyone up at the crack of dawn, until BM no longer allowed her to come out of her room until everyone else was awake. 

marblefawn's picture

Submitted by marblefawn on Thu, 10/04/2018 - 11:07am

Can you address why he's waking you up?

I mean, if it's for a glass of water, can you put water by his bed?

Whatever he wants, let his dad address it. I'd move to another room, regardless of whether it's the only time you see SO. It's only for a few more months. He needs to see you're serious about your needs and will do what you must to get them met. But make it clear that it's only until December. After that, if the issue continues, you'll have more time to hash it out with your SO.

SleepyAlways's picture

Submitted by SleepyAlways on Fri, 10/05/2018 - 9:04pm

They have their glass of water at bedside and they are potty-trained. He said all he wants is a cuddle. But every damn time. I told my husband that this can ruin our relationship and he said it can. I know they’re  his kids but I feel like I’m not important when I voice a simple request.

Siemprematahari's picture

Submitted by Siemprematahari on Thu, 10/04/2018 - 11:11am

Congrats on grad school and best of luck during your clinicals and passing your Boards. I don't know how you function with such a full plate and with little sleep. You have to put your foot down because you're not asking for a lot and  your H has to accomodate you. Its only until December so something has to give.

Wishing you much success!

SleepyAlways's picture

Submitted by SleepyAlways on Fri, 10/05/2018 - 8:55pm

Thank you so much. It’s not as easy feat but it would have been easier if my sleep isn’t interrupted with the little sleep I have. I will try asking what you guys have suggested here. Thank you for affirming that I’m not doing anything wrong. I really appreciate it and I feel less horrible.

SleepyAlways's picture

Submitted by SleepyAlways on Fri, 10/05/2018 - 8:53pm

They’re both 6, twins. The other one is very obedient. This one is a sweet boy but he needs just a tad bit of discipline.