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Selectively lactose intolerant?!

Kmommyof388's picture

Ok, so after being told about the skid two weekends in a row visit(still trying to convince him to take him with) I was told I need to get all the ice cream (kiddie yogurts) chocolate milk out of the house and spend even more of this households food budget on all lactose free products...ok first of all how is it at all fair that I have to get rid of or hide anything with lactose just cuz skid is coming? MY children don't have food sensitivity and like all the food is prepare and so on. Secondly, the kid isnisnt really lactose intolerant. .if he was he wouldn't be able to eat ice cream chocolates and other sweets like that.. but he sure will munch down without saying I can' have that when I make chocolate chip pancakes or what have you.  Or when I make homemade pizza ironically enough the cheese doesn't give him a tummy ache...I guess I'm asking is intolerance to food like this selective?

Comments

Kmommyof388's picture

I don' get to be selective about my allrgy to bananas...I would LOVE banana bread but I don' get to eat it just cuz I would like to see what all the hype is about lol 

I love dogs's picture

SD12 has selective food preferences. She isn't a "fan" of chicken but will eat it in pasta and sweet and sour chicken. Doesn't "like" steak but will eat the crap out of it if it's in front of her. Doesn't like veggies but eats them with no problem hidden in food. Doesn't like spicy but eats wasabi with sushi. 

Where is this new lactose intolerance coming from? Is DH just testing you now that you're home?

Kmommyof388's picture

I have no idea where it' coming from.. I know dh has a slight lactose intolerance  (and trust me his is so minute it's like the equivalent of a normal non sensitive tummy eating beans) I suppose it comes from ss mommy saying it over and over that he needs to have special "milky" and "icy cream" cuz he has a special tummy...*bleh!* no kid at six should be saying milkies,juicies,and MuhMuh (for mama) 

JanRebecca's picture

Ok kid is 6 and yu have to cut up his gummy vitamins? What?! 

Kmommyof388's picture

Yeah if I don' cut them up and hide them he will half chew them and hide them somewhere..usually the twins pj's drawer 

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Things like tuna, peas, spinach, carrots, jello.... all perfect for some who is lactose-intolerant.

A restaurant or school will not remove these items because SD has imaginary lactose-intolerance. Your DH needs to teach her what she can and cannot eat. If she truly IS lactose-intolerant, push those items to the back or put them in brown paper bags.

Kmommyof388's picture

He won' eat any of those things, even if I try to dress them up..they are still "yucky"

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Those are just examples. Plenty of foods are available for someone who is lactose-intolerant.

ndc's picture

I think there must be degrees of lactose intolerance.  My dad can eat cheese, chocolate and yogurt without a problem.  Milk and ice cream are a problem, although he often is willing to suffer the consequences for ice cream.  Now he buys the Breyers lactose free ice cream.

There is no way I would throw away good food, or even stop buying it for the others, because one kid is lactose intolerant. 

I hope your DH takes the skid with him, or leaves him with BM.  No way should you get stuck with him if your DH isn't even in town.

Fishoutofwater's picture

Have your husband be the one to prepare special meals for his son. Problem solved. 

 

Kmommyof388's picture

I'm probably going to lose the food war anyway just based off of what he's allowed to demand at other family members houses. I just hope that it doesn' run off on my bios,being picky is one thing but to act bratty and turn your nose up to the point where I'm scared you're starving to death is a whole other story 

notasm3's picture

I do not consider myself lactose intolerant. But I had a lot of issues with acute diarrhea after eating ice cream or drinking milk after my gallbladder removal 20 years ago.   It only happens occasionally now after drinking milk. But I’ve cut down drastically on my milk consumption. 

Simple solution - don’t consume food that makes you feel bad. - or just shut up if you do it on purpose. 

A true dairy allergy (life threatening) is a totally different problem. 

MoominMama's picture

I am lactose intolerant, diagnosed by the consultant. There are grades of lactose intolerant. Luckily mine is not too high so i can eat any hard cheese and yoghurt as these products have already partially broken down the lactose. You can buy tablets that help break down lactose too. They are made from a natural product called lactASE. You take a couple before eating. 

I wouldnt buy specialist products (apart from lactose free milk which is not expensive in long life cartons) also chocolate soya milk is not very expensive.  On the other hand you could just get him ice lollies instead.

Is the problem more that the condition has not been officially diagnosed and that you feel it is just one of Bm's whims? I get that, its annoying when people decide these things and then expect you to run out and buy expensive replacements.

What symptons, if any, does he show of this intolerance? 

Kmommyof388's picture

He basically gets gas and has to go potty alot after a tummy ache. But BM has told him in the past he is "allergic" to things just so she doesn' have to prep it for him.she also has a very hard time believing that he isn't special and doesn' need medicine (she demanded ge has add or adhd just so she can have his pills for herself )special dietary needs

thinkthrice's picture

When we came to the US, we were shocked at how much milk families consumed here.  Hard cheeses generally have less lactose so I can have small amounts (of gruyere).  Let Daadddeeeee make special meals the way Chef did to his prescious. (they only eat junk food)

twoviewpoints's picture

I didn't read that your DH was demanding you cook/serve 'special meals' for his oldest son. So not sure why I keep reading 'let your Dh prepare blah blah'. 

What he asked is the milk, chocolate milk and yogurt is out and replaced with lactose-free. That's not an outrageous request if his oldest actually has lactose issues. And you also state DH himself has some lactose issues= read your three youngest may have and/or develop issues too. 

I'm going to assume that all birth test were routinely ran when SS was born?  Not something to entirely laugh off. My youngest (just turned 18 a while back now) was born with galactosemia. Fortunately she does have some enzyme activity, and yes, she can have some of this or that, but very little to no of that or this. 

Please do not use the argument of 'why can SS have this but not that'. Instead I'd like you to do some simple research on what supposedly your SS has been diagnosed with aka in your SS's case, lactose intolerant. And as you have witnessed, he is not totally intolerant. So that means he needs to be careful and he needs to limit, avoid and monitor certain foods. 

Please remember the kid is six. And you have SS, what? EOWE? Two days a week? 50/50? How often is SS there that his need to drink lactose-free would really affect your other three? Again, the kid is six. Does little brother really have to have chocolate milk seven days a week? If SS isn't there 24/7, I would think little brothers could be having real chocolate full milk aplenty, but on the days/times SS isn't there. 

Sure, as some suggested 'just teach the kid what he can't eat' ... ok. I disagree it is 'ok' to serve a drink one can not have and expect that kid just to suck it up. What alternative is SS being offered to also partake in while little brothers are guzzling down chocolate milk , woofing down bowls of ice cream and having their yogurt? Please don;t tell me nothing. Or a glass of water. Remember this kid is six. 

Now on to what brought this subject up right now? Why not a year ago or three months ago? Surely neither BM or Dad woke up one day this week, figured out the kid is lactose intolerant. Surely having the kid in your home and feeding him isn't something new. 

So what brought Dad to decide his oldest son's ingestion of all things lactose must be observed this week?  This question is more out of curiosity than anything else. And being as your DH doesn't bother to remember he has any kids the majority of the time (unless he's terrorizing them)  I'm surprised at this most recent and sudden concern of his. Or did you happen to use the 'my tummy hurts, I'm sick' of SS as an justification as to why he had to take SS this weekend instead of you trying to keep SS home? 

secret's picture

I think it IS outrageous - the rest of the family shouldn't have to give dairy up just because he can't have it.

Dairy-free should be added to the groceries.

If the others get chocolate milk (they're toddlers, not sure why they're having chocolate milk and ice cream all the time....but I digress, that's isn't what we're discussing here.) then have some dairy free chocolate milk on hand to give him.

If ya'll are having cheese, get him some vegan cheese so he can have cheese too. Get a few lactose-free yogurts so ss can have some when he's there.

I'd laugh in my DH's face if he told me to throw out what we have and only get accomodation food.

Do kids in school have to restrict what they eat just because princess can't have cheese? No.

And THIS is why kids these days have ZERO LIFE SKILLS.... everyone has to bend over backwards to make sure they're on top of the world. Cripes.

twoviewpoints's picture

I'm not about to debate you on your opinion 

Chesse was not a problem (the man said milk, choclate milk and yogurt).... so why your cheese rant is beyond me. 

If you are perfectly fine telling a six year old they have to just sit and watch their baby brothers eat/drink treats, great, you do that.  What's next? Deliberately making/serving a snack you know one child out of four can not eat and going 'nanananana'? 

School will provide a snack/drink that the child can eat. The child just will not be told 'tough sh*t' .  The child isn't left out and goes without just because he/she has a health issue. 

And if you would have taken the time to read instead of gearing up for your rant, I asked how much the SS is even present. Do you really believe 3 tiny kids  must  have this partuclar full on loaded lactose product 30 days a months?  Would giving them something lactose free and/or an entirely different treat/snack a lousy few days here or there hurt them. It's not like I announced these other children must live lactose-free 24/7 365. 

When you have a weekend guest in your home, do you say 'tough sh*t" I made dinner and snacks for only the people who can tolerate lactose. Do you think that person has zero life skills because you can't bother to also provide a alternative they too can partake in?  Is being sensitve to one's need for a silly bowl of (as suggested above) itialian ice really " bending over backwards"

**cripes**

Sad

 

 

secret's picture

Hmm, you misunderstood me.

I didn't say she shouldn't get the accomodated food for SS at all, I said that she should get SOME ...but NOT REPLACE EVERYONE ELSE'S food with it. To get the lactose free version of all of it, so that SS can have whatever they're eating too. Be it cheese, milk, ice cream...

I also never said the little ones should be given things he cannot eat while he has to sit and watch - I wrote that if the little ones get something, that the 6 year old should be given an alternative version of it............

Perhaps if you read my rant properly, you'd have seen that I agreed with everything that you were saying except that I find it outrageous to have to replace EVERYTHING ELSE with ONLY accomodation food... but that rather, he should have another version of whatever anyone else is eating...such as vegan cheese for when the little ones get cheese and he's around...

And no, school will not tell the child tough sh!t = I agree, like you said, the child will be given a snack/drink they can have - but the rest of the class WON'T have the same "accomodated food", and that's what I mean. The kid will have different food everywhere else, nowhere else will everyone be expected to bend over backwards just because they can't have something, it isn't a matter of "nananana", it's just reality.

If I have a weekend guest in my home, and I know they can't have dairy, I'll provide alternatives for them - but I won't force everyone else to drink soy milk just because that's what the guest needs to have. That's just stupid.

Yes, the kid is 6, and may not have fully grasped on what having a resrtictive diet means just yet... but honestly... the kids are all under 8 - they get their chocolate milk in cups or sippy cups... it's not like the kid will notice pouring from 2 different cartons when they all get handed their cups... the ice crema is in bowls.... it's not like they're all sitting there watching Ohhhh my scoop came from THAT tub... Whyyyyy.....

Yes, I feel it outrageous for EVERYONe to have to change up their diet for one occasional person. Just have the extra dairy free versions of it on hand.

**cripes**

Kmommyof388's picture

I wouldn't mind despite I already get him the extra  (I buy the almond milk and the almond milk ice creams) but he doesn' like any of them says they'e yucky so what I do is put chocolate syrup in it to try to get whatever yucky taste covered by the syrup  (not healthy I know but it beats trying to serve him sorbet knowing he doesn' like fruit..)so he sneaks the full lactose stuff then it' like I'm the bad guy for "letting him have it" 

secret's picture

Sounds like DH needs to be home when SS is there, so that DH can be the one to deal with SS

ndc's picture

Breyers makes some lactose free ice cream.  The flavors are limited - I think just vanilla and chocolate - but it pretty much tastes like regular ice cream.  My dad gets it all the time.

Kmommyof388's picture

No dr was even visited we just go off BM saying hes lactose intolerant she has never really brought it up until just recently and as little as a month ago there weren' any tummy aches or any indication he was hurting

Ispofacto's picture

Almond milk is delicious and healthier than cow's milk anyway.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

I heart almond milk!!

I like to freeze berries and blend them with almond milk for a tasty shake.

ESMOD's picture

The kid may have a touch of lactose intolerance.  But then again, when I was younger, I swore I was allergic to Mashed Potatoes at my summer camp.  Truth?  They texture just grossed me out...lol.  But, as others have pointed out, milk and yoghurt have higher amounts of it vs the other items.

Now, I would NOT throw out food if others in the family can eat it.  But, I might make small accomodations like buying sherbet or italian ices instead of ice cream before I knew he was coming or have a quart of lactose free milk as well as have some of the lactaid pills on hand. 

Back to the two weekends in a row.  You need to stop trying to convince your DH to take him with him on his work weekends.  You are approaching this from a position of weakness.  TELL him you are NOT watching his son on his custody time if he is out of town.  He has two choices.  1.  refuse visitation on weekends he is not available.  2.  Take him with him.  THAT IS IT.  THOSE ARE HIS ONLY TWO OPTIONS.  This is NOT a negotiation.  This is a statement and a choice he needs to make.  You don't care which it is... but if he tries to leave the boy with you he will find you driving kid back to mothers and if she is not there you will be driving him to his work site out of town and leaving him.

This is not a request so please stop "asking" him.  TELL him you are not watching HIS child if HE is NOT IN TOWN. 

Aniki-Moderator's picture

ESMOD, I adore you. Kiss 3

Myss.Tique D'Off's picture

The child may be lactose intolerant (needs to be properly diagnosed), but that doesnt mean the household food supply needs to be centred around what he can and cant eat. It is more important that the child needs to be taught that there are certain things he can and cant eat. Alternatives may be provided.

I would not agree to tossing out dairy products for my own children because one of them had adverse affects to dairy. Those products just becomes off limits to the intolerant one. End of story.

I buy food for my house. I am a vegetarian. Does not mean I dont buy meat or dont cook it. I just dont eat it or taste a dish containing meat that I have cooked for BS and SS. There is no need to impose my choices or restrictions on the rest of the house.

(Otherwise I dont see a reason for a "visiting" stepkid to stay with you when his Dad is not home.)  

witch.hazel's picture

with what someone else's child is eating, especially one who does not live in my home full time. When you cook for your kids, offer him some (obviously minus any milk or yogurt), if he wants it, fine, if he doesn't, fine. Your DH can worry about getting him his special foods. He has a father and mother. 

Cover1W's picture

Oh my lord.

SD12 is lactose intolerant as is DH.  There's no reason to not buy regular stuff for others - DH and SD12 just won't use it. Except for ice cream - DH will regret it but he'll eat it.  SD12 won't touch anything with milk products.  HOWEVER we do buy Lactaid milk, it's more expensive, but everyone can use it.  And SD12 can eat it.

If they are truly lactose intolerant, and my sister is as well, then they will most likely naturally NOT eat the stuff.  The battles my mother and sister had over her eating cheese or drinking milk (forced to) were epic.