Party planning (o/t)
So June my twins turn two years old this is the "big deal" party because it' the first birthday where they will actually understand what is going on. I want this to be a special day just for them (my sister from Nebraska and her kids are coming,my other sister in Arizona and her kids are coming) now I know it' probably extremely petty on my part but I almost feel like I shouldn't invite most of dh's family (literally only one out of his five sisters would be it if I had it my way) point being if I invite them the focus f whose bday it really is will change I'll be pushed into the background not even getting decent pictures of the twins (just like last year) and I know at least one sister is going to say how unfair it is for me to throw the twins a big bday party and not even have gotten skid a gift....skids bday isn' even until the end of August...am I really that horrible for wanting this party to only be about the twins ? (My mom is funding the party)
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I must have missed that
I must have missed that excerpt in the Spoiled Children's Handbook that says that when a child is at someone else's birthday that they should receive a gift too??? Oh wait, I've never read the Spoiled Children's Handbook because I don't want a spoiled, rotten, entitled child.
I guess you either invite DH's family and listen to and watch their nonsense or you dont invite and probably listen to their nonsense just the same.... but at least you don't have to SEE them if you don't iinvite them.
Very true, I don't want to
Very true, I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings but at the same time I'm still hurt about last year's party (I was pregnant with my youngest) running around playing hostess plus making two homemade cakes (one glueten free dairy free cake for his family ) and a separate cake for everyone else and it was just really bad *the next day I was blamed for not making skid feel special and yelling at him blah blah* just too much drama but I almost know I will never hear the end of it if they aren' invited...it' bad enough the day my twins were born ALL of his family were there the whole week and a half i was in the hospital and constantly bicker d at about how I wasn' making it enough about skid (it was not at all my choice to be in labor that early or have the complications I had but whatever) lol it was a test and I think I failed
Why in the world would you
Why in the world would you get a special cake for in laws?? It's NOT their birthday party! They can simply refrain from eating cake if they have a gluten intolerance. Oh man, the precident has been set now though, if you don't do special for them at every party now, you will be evil. Will the party be big enough for you to invite them and ignore them?
Possibly, we're having it in
Possibly, we're having it in our backyard which is pretty big but there is also the fact that the party whether intentional or not will probably be segregated between the families, most of my family don' speak English that well and the majority of his family only speaks Spanish (but mostly by choice) *I was already berated for not teaching my kids Spanish* I don' know it so how could I teach?! Lol but I suppose if I made an attempt to ignore i probably could but then I would probably be accessed of being openly rude. Yeah the two cakes wasn't going to be in the original plan but then the bakery I was going to pick the cakes up couldn't do glueten free without charging am arm and leg so I said to heck with it I'll do it myself...lol I should have just paid the extra $20
Of course that's not silly!!!
Of course that's not silly!!! Hence why we cut Bm out of parties... She made it all about her. Which made the girls upset and everyone else uncomfortable. So she's not invited anymore...
She did show up uninvited to SD5's birthday... Passive aggressive me made sure to be RIGHT BY SD5 during any good birthday photo moments (cake, presents, etc.). Apparently her sister told her (we invited the sister to get the cousin there... big mistake)... So now the sister isn't invited either. If the girls want the cousins again, I'll go pick them up.
I think it's important to avoid drama for a kid's birthday party. It's THEIR day and no one else's! I vote you follow futuro's idea and have your "mom throw it." If they're going to cause issues and take the focus away from their day, they have no business being there.
We used to get "unbirthday"
We used to get "unbirthday" gifts when we were fairly young.. maybe under 10? It didn't necessasarily mean we were ruined..lol.
You host the party you want to have... if you want to have a small private celebration with just your relatives from out of town.. fine. It's going to be hard to do though unless your DH is onboard with excluding his family.. or you do a dinner with your family and have a larger less worrisome one with everyone.
Also.. I don't remember my 2nd birthday. I doubt many kids do. Don't try to overthink and stress. The kids will have a worse time if you are tied up in knots. A cake, some toys and balloons.. they will be happy..lol.
You are way too worried about
You are way too worried about what the aholes are going to say or think. Eff them.
Be pleasant and civil. But if they cannot also be pleasant and civil then ghost their a$$es.
SS33 and his GF's relatives think I am the most horrible person on the face of this earth. Especially since I did not treat the GC (now 2 1/2) like the second coming. I so do not care.
Do I care what the professional beggar on the sidewalk thinks when I do not give him my money? No. The truth of the matter is that there is no way to win.
I think really what it comes
I think really what it comes down to is his family gets all the pictures and demands to be in the shots or demands it be about someone else and then they post the pictures on their social media without my permission...there are good reasons why neither parent has social media for our privacy
And I don' really understand
And I don' really understand the gift giving at their bday I never understood that it doesn' matter whose bday it is they always bring skid and only skid no other nob bday kid a gift
While I can appreciate your
While I can appreciate your maternal pride and joy, your twins are only two, and your marriage is pretty rocky right now. Is it wise to spend $$ on a party your kids won't remember when you could put that money aside for a rainy day?
I agree that's why my mom is
I agree that's why my mom is funding the party she says that since she didn't make their first bday party she "has to make it up to them" my mom is a weird lady lol
Since your Mom is funding the party,
she is the hostess. As hostess, she gets to issues the invitations. It makes sense that she would only invite her family. Can you have the party at her house? If so, that should leave no questions as to who is hosting the party.
We could try having it at her
We could try having it at her house but not sure if all the people she would invite would even fit in her house or yard lol but that's would be a good reason why his family couldn' come ( my mom lives further away than me and even where I live is too far for them) not far enough for them to not come over just for enough away for them to b!tch and gripe about how far it is
If your mom is funding the
If your mom is funding the party, you can pass it off as "my mom figured your family would do a party for your side....." and don't get the skids a dang thing.