I am looking for some comments from anyone who has experienced something similar to my current situation.

I have been with my partner for over 10 years and we recently married in May. I have always had a good relationship my husbands children, who are now 26,24 and 19 years. I met them after being with my husband for 2 years. He had separated from his wife at 2 years earlier. I have never interfered in the relationship they have with their Dad, and always encouraged my husband to spend time alone with them. OVer the years we have taken the youngest on holiday with us (I paid as my husband couldn't afford it).

I am totally self sufficient from a financial point of view. I own my own house and car. My husband has struggled over the years to ensure the children were allowed to stay in their home with their BM. The divorce meant that he left her the house and he kept his company pension.

He moved in with me and I continued to pay all my own bills for at least a year. In addition I would take us on holiday as I knew he needed to meet payments to his ex for child support.

We are now at a stage where my husband had to take early retirement through ill health. When his sick pay stopped in February this year, he no longer had earnigns to continue to support the payments he was making to his ex. I should make it clear also that the middle son (age 23) has been out of the house at Uni for 3 years now, although my husband has continued to pass the money to BM. His youngest still stays with BM and is on her 3rd course at college.

BM uses her oldest son to try to emotionally blackmail my husband. The recent annoucement of our marriage combined with my husband having to stop payments has meant that all 3 adult kids are now not speaking to either me or their Dad.

The oldest came to the house to speak to him Dad recently. He explained that they were annoyed that we seem to be going on holiday but can't pay money to his Mum. My husband explained that he has had no earnings since February and will not be in a position to contribute until his pension starts in August. The holiday (our honeymoon)is being paid for my me.

I was upset and annoyed that we were being told that we should not be going away because money wasn't being paid to BM. I text the oldest to see if we could meet to discuss (reason being my husband burys his head in the sand andnever wants to rock the boat). I had a good enough relationship to tell the oldest that I was extremely upset that they have not only snubbed our wedding (no card or acknowledgement), their Dads birthday and my 40th, but they were also telling us that we should be continue to pay BM her money. He e-mailed me to say the money should be coming from me if their Dad can't pay it.

We have now not heard from any of them in nearly 2 months.

Am I right to tell the oldest that I am disappointed that they have behaved this way as a result of their BM now not getting money from my husband. He has since August made a personal arrnagement with his 23 year old and 19 year.

I feel incredibly let down by them after all these years.