The same ole vent

Ysd's baby is due soon. Low and behold I get a shower invitation in the mail. This sd barely speaks to me and has nor been in our home in almost 2 years. My dh had a chemo treatment and had a horrible reaction to the treatment. He was hospitalized for over a week. I called her. She did not come to see him; but did call ever so often. She and her dh came tro the hospital to see him after his lung surgery.
I hate just the thoughts of going to the shower. I don't mind buying or sending a gift. But, if I attend, I know from experience, she will think everything is fine. My dh has asked me to go. We had a good discussion about it. He admitted she has screwed me over more than once and she treats me horribly. But,asked me to go for him. He has thanked me a zillion times. My dh is fantastic with my adult children and grands. She not only told us she did not want to be part of our family; but told her grandmother and aunts the same thing. She has not seen them or called them either. Yet, they all got shower invitations. I know things will never change. However,I feel once again she wins. She can treat everyone especially me with disrespect without any consequences. I fee he is throwing me under the bus. I am so mad at myself for agreeing. I really thought I would not be invited. Gee did that kick me in the $$$.
I think she will use the baby to weasel her way back into her father's life. It is daughter if he wants to see her that's his business. I just don't feel I have to be part of it.
I am so so down and out about the whole thing.

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she probably invited you and

she probably invited you and the family she wanted nothing ot do with so she will get more gifts.... just saying

She's probably fishing for

She's probably fishing for gifts. Whenever I get invited to something for someone I barely know or haven't spoken to in years I'm always suspicious. In this case, I think you'd be spot on for questioning her motives.

This is a tough place your DH

This is a tough place your DH has put you in. Only you can make the decision to go or not. Is it possible the invite came from whoever is trying her the shower and SD really didn't mean for you to be invited? If you're on good terms with the grandmother and aunts that were also invited (though SD has no use for the either), you might call and ask them if they are going. If none of them are planning on attending it would be really difficult to sit around a bunch of people you don't know and play nice to a SD who wants nothing to do with you.

You might suggest you and DH pick out something online to send to the baby with a card from DH (or the both of you). Just explain to husband that it's the best you can do given the situation and that you realize this is his grandchild and you know it's important to not hold against the baby for baby's mother's behavior...but attending is just not something you feel is appropriate for you to do.

My mother's SO (now deceased but they were together 22yrs) had about the same crap from her SO's daughter. In my mother's situation the daughter was not a young 20something, she was a 40ish woman who went out of her way to make her father miserable . She either ignored his existence for months upon months or rode in on her broom and was nasty towards him. In events like your SD's baby shower, of course the invites always arrived. Mother would help her SO select a nice gift for the event, write his name on the card and be done with it.

Comments

she probably invited you and

She's probably fishing for

This is a tough place your DH

Oh this previous advice from

Yep!! Agree with this ^^ Get

Thanks for all the support.

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The same ole vent

Comments

she probably invited you and

She's probably fishing for

This is a tough place your DH

Oh this previous advice from

Yep!! Agree with this ^^ Get

Thanks for all the support.