So ysd and her spouse come to the hospital to visit my dh. The tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife. I admit I was standoffish and borderline rude. She has not been around for a year and waltzes in like nothing has happened. No apology - nothing. Anyway, dh is almost groveling. At one point my dh says he is cold and ysd reaches over to cover him. No way was I letting that happen. I reached over to cover him myself.
After dh came home from the hospital and began to feel better I could tell something was bothering him. He stated he was embarrassed by my actions. I should be the bigger person and I am the adult. I lost my cool. And said why do I always have to be the better person. I am not doing this anymore. Almost 8 years is enough for me. She is not a child; she is an adult, married and soon to have a kid herself. I cannot give her an inch; if I do she will take a mile.
Anyway, later on in the conversation my dh says I told you handle her how you see fit. I was so angry. Really? You are giving me mixed messages..which is it? I realized that it has been this way from the beginning. He tells me one thing; but expects me to always turn the other cheek and walk on eggshells. This time I am not doing it.
She is the one who wrote the email saying she did not want to be part of the family. And stayed away from us. Maybe I am not ready for her to be part of my family.