SD13 brought DH & BM's wedding picture to MY house
SD is at her BM's until this evening, but I just noticed a leather binder lying on the futon. When I looked inside I found a wedding picture of my DH and her BM.
What would you do? Should I ignore and leave it alone? Get rid of it? What? She obviously left it out for me to find.
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Got a sharpie handy? haha, no
Got a sharpie handy?
haha, no seriously though.....
Just forget about
Just forget about it.
Seriously.
As long as it's not displayed in a common area.
If it stays in binder even better.
I caused a small uproar when I fought for removal of DH/BM photo(not wedding)that was hanging on the living room wall.
Then SD brought an 8x10 of BM and put it in her room. I wasn't too keen on this either but her room, her space. Don't look Ethyl!
We have a ton of photo albums full of DH/BM life. They are stashed out of the way and they really don't bother me because nobody ever takes them out and looks at them. I intend on keeping it even if DH should go before me in case SD or BIL wants any of the pix. If not, then I guess I'll keep DH pix and shitcan the rest.
Mine is like that too. He
Mine is like that too. He saves everything.
He had a wine glass with the wedding date and names by the dinner table on a shelf.
I got tired of seeing it every meal and said something. He got mad about it and broke it.
I feel kind of guilty about that one.
IDK if he was really hanging
IDK if he was really hanging on to the past or afraid it would uspet SD or both.
I don't think he was ready for marriage or even a relationship at the time but we were both not wanting to give up and stubborn.
Too late now. : )
I'm not either. I know he
I'm not either. I know he can't stand BM and he only married her because she was pregnant. It just feels like such an insult that she brought it to my house and then left it out for me to find.
I understand why it sucks - I
I understand why it sucks - I hate friggin pictures of BM in my house period.
Because my DH kept all his wedding pics and others I didn't particularly care for, I hung a photo of me and my x and his family in DS's room. Serves him...
But your SD probably isn't doing it on purpose...so If it were me I'd let it go
Put the binder in her room.
Put the binder in her room. Let her and dad know it needs to stay there. Warn them both that if you come across it again (or any other pictures of her mother),you will throw it away.
She may have let it out by accident.
I would not like that at all,
I would not like that at all, I think I would tell my husband about how upsetting it is to have his old wedding pictures in my house and that I need them to not be there!
Ideally he could talk to her about it, or both of you could but I think she would take it better coming from him. Maybe she needs to be told either to leave that at her BMs or keep it out of the common areas of the house.
It really isn't fair to you to have to see that in the safety of your own home.
I don't think you should get rid of it, that could really cause some upset. But if you don't think your husband will be on board with you then maybe just make a point of putting it in her room, on a shelf, somewhere VERY tucked away.
How old is SD? I wouldn't
How old is SD? I wouldn't want that in my house. Did she do it on purpose to bug you?
My DH wasn't married to BM so I'll never have that happen. But SD6 was telling me how BM shows her pictures of the two of them when they were together. I think it's weird. SD was 2 when they broke up so she doesn't remember them being together.
She is 13 and I guarantee you
She is 13 and I guarantee you she did it to bug me because she left it out in plain sight.
BTW, It is a HORRIBLE pic of BM in her white wedding dress and big-ass pregnant belly LOLOLOL.
Pregnant belly? You think
Pregnant belly? You think that looks horrible? SD22 is pregnant with #2 and she LOVES her belly. Displays at every chance and takes approximately 847639957 pictures per pregnancy and posts every one of them on FB. After #1 and before she got pregnant for #2, she was always whining about how much she missed her belly. WTF? I thought the purpose of pregnancy was a baby, not just a huge belly.
Sorry to go off topic, it just baffles me how in love with her pregnant belly(ies) SD is. She seems to love the belly maybe even more than the kid(s)!
I don't think pregnant
I don't think pregnant bellies are ugly (though I was never obsessed with mine). It is just a symbol of the REASON DH even considered marrying her. And even pregnant with his child, he almost didn't go through with it (remember, hubby was an older father and was raised during the time when it was NOT okay for kids to be born out of wedlock.) And her wearing white, well, somehow that just doesn't go with a big pregnant belly. Plus, she looked ugly all by herself, even without the pregnant belly lol.
Oh, I wasn't judging! I don't
Oh, I wasn't judging! I don't think bellies are gross, but I do think it's gross to post 50 million pictures of your pregnant belly all over FB because you think you are the only person to ever be pregnant and you should be celebrated and worshipped for this miracle. If SD had been pregnant when she got married, you better believe her bare belly would have been on display at some point. You know how most people don't like strangers touching their pregnant belly? I think she would LOVE it. The more attention she gets, the better.
Right? LOL. Some women think
Right? LOL. Some women think they're the only women who have ever been pregnant.
I would be a complete psycho,
I would be a complete psycho, take it to Kinko's, make 100 copies and post them all over her room like wallpaper.
Just for the fuck of it. }:)
LOL I like this^^^^
LOL I like this^^^^
I would probably just ignore
I would probably just ignore it as well. If your DH can't stand BM, then there's nothing to feel threatened by...and if SD is doing it just to get a rise out of you, the best thing to do is not react. If you make a thing out of it, she'll just keep finding new ways to get under your skin because she can.
I agree that it's normal to
I agree that it's normal to have pics of her mom, as reminders and safety.. but of the BM and her DH their wedding day? That's a bit much..
This is exactly what I would
This is exactly what I would do!
My husband's daughter brought
My husband's daughter brought a pic of DH and BM to my house. It disappeared. She was most definitely trying to get to me but it backfired, DH talked to her about it. LOL. It was a semi-serious how are you coping, what are you feeling, I'm worried about you, do you think it's healthy to hold on to fantasies, that wasn't a healthy relationship and we are all better off now, type of talk. The kind pre-teens just LOOOVE to have with their parents. There was a lot of eye-rolling.
I'd treat it like any other
I'd treat it like any other belonging that was left out where it doesn't belong. I would take it and put it in her room and tell her not to leave her stuff laying around or it will get thrown out.
Exactly this^^^^^^ Whatever
Exactly this^^^^^^
Whatever these bitchy people do, they try to hurt us. If you dismiss it, the hurt stays where it first started-within them.
Btw- plaster more pix of your wedding day all over the house before she gets home hee hee
I'd take a nice, long look
I'd take a nice, long look through there and ridicule every hair out of place, every wrinkle, every enlarged pore...every hideous dress, ugly flower, stupid pose...be a mean girl while you're alone with that album. Then put it down and walk away.
Not in my house. No way.
Not in my house. No way.
SD pulled that shit on me one
SD pulled that shit on me one year and her little album "mysteriously" disappeared. Funny thing is, SD never even asked if anyone knew what happened to it. }:)
SD doesn't OWN one square
SD doesn't OWN one square inch of this home. Neither does she pay rent on it. The whole house belongs to DH and I. So she does NOT have a space that is "hers" where she can be disrespectful of the people who pay the freaking mortgage, utilities, insurance, etc. REGARDLESS, that damn picture WILL leave this house. Whether it leaves in one piece or a hundred is yet to be seen.
SD is 13 and perfectly
SD is 13 and perfectly capable of understanding that it is inappropriate to bring a picture of her BM and dad into the home her dad shares with his new wife. She's not bright but she has enough mental faculties to understand that.
No, there's not really
No, there's not really anything to be jealous of. I was more curious looking at the picture than hurt by it. Then I got pissed... I feel possessive of my home, yes, and disrespected by SD for bringing that here when she knew full well it was not welcome. She's not a little child. She's a teenager who made it perfectly clear when she moved in here that she intended for things to go back to the way they were (her and daddyyyy). She said to my face she'd never be happy until he was back with her mother or at least single again, and this is when we were all still trying to make things work (at least my DH, DD, and I.)
My DD is 20 and not by DH.
My DD is 20 and not by DH.
DH says he will talk to her about it when he gets home this evening. I made it clear to him it is not to stay in our home and he agrees.
Planning to move in the spring:) I have been working at two different companies to save up for the move. It's been keeping me very busy but I am running on pure adrenaline. Can't wait to live 800 miles from SD and BM and the whole damn bunch!
I agreed to wait until the
I agreed to wait until the spring so we could save up money and wouldn't have to live on my mom's property (which he feels is mooching but my mom would love.) I agreed because he agreed we would leave SD here when we move and in the meantime, he would give BM joint custody so I don't have to deal with SD ALL the time. Before we could start that process, BM had already re-opened the court case so this should be happening soon. Otherwise I had planned to be gone by November.
DD is going with:) She can't wait!
No, my DD is going to live
No, my DD is going to live with her grandmother and help take care of her great-grandmother, who has dementia.
DD has been talking about
DD has been talking about moving back for several months now. Yes, she will be in the same general vicinity, but she has decided all on her own to move whether we do or not.
I was thinking the same
I was thinking the same thing. Not worth the stress when your already not feeling good.
DD has a job waiting on her
DD has a job waiting on her in my sister's store when she arrives, but she is also planning to go to school. Why all these questions about DD? She has her shit together. You'll have a hard time attacking me through her.
NOT anybody's business, but
NOT anybody's business, but my DD has some health issues right now that we are working to resolve. Working in sister's store, she will have flexible hours and might be able to do some stuff from home. DD is an adult and can move or stay as she pleases. I have two other kids who have chosen to stay here and I am going to miss them, but I have not chosen to stay behind with them.
DH has the freedom to stay behind as he likes. He is an adult. But for my own health's sake, I am getting out of here.
No all my kids are grown.
No all my kids are grown.
I vote for putting it in her
I vote for putting it in her room. My SDs have pics of bm in their rooms. They have photo albums from certain times in their lives in their rooms. Don't give her the satisfaction of knowing it ticked you off (which is what she wants).
I have zero problem with
I have zero problem with photos of exs in the house. There was a marriage, there was kids. To pretend it did not happen by not allowing photos in the house does not help kids to grow up healthy.
I have albums of my life with ex. They are in my sons room under the bed.
SD has framed photos of her mom, I helped put them on her walls.
Very normal for kids to have pictures of their parents. My son gets a kick out of seeing us when we were young. Lol
It's not JUST a picture!!
It's not JUST a picture!! Who, in their right mind, would ever want a "romantic" or "together" picture of an ex-boyfriend/ex-girlfriend/ex-wife/ex-husband laying around their house???
Seriously. It's NOT jealousy. It's completely disrespectful. Sorry SKIDS. Your adult parents have moved on...gotten into new relationships...and the newbie doesn't want constant reminders of the Ex under their own roof. Get over it SKID.
Because its the kids parents.
Because its the kids parents. The kids should not have to pretend they don't have another parent living outside the home. Seriously....pictures of parents in the kids room...that should not be an issue. Keep the photos there.
I had a marriage...he had a marriage. It happened. Its ok. Nothing can be done about it now. Accept it. Let the kids have pictures. Good grief.
Idk know... its in a leather
Idk know... its in a leather binder. Are you sure she left the binder there for you to open it up and look in it?
She probably has some fanasty of her parents or she likes to look at the pic or whatever.
Its not like she put it in a frame, hung it up on the fridge, etc.
She had it in a closed binder. I'm assuming the binder is her's? Maybe she didnt expect you to open the binder and see the picture. Did she leave the binder in a place that makes you believe that she left it for you to find? On your side of the bed, in your dresser drawer?
I guess I am a little confused what the big deal is about your SD having a picture in her own belongings of her parents when they were married.
You are married to him now. You know that he was married to someone else prior to you and that there were probably pictures of this.
If you think she did it just to be mean, then do Rising2's suggestion.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure she
Yeah, I'm pretty sure she left it out for me to find. It was in a leather binder I'd never seen before and was left prominently in a public area of the house. She wanted me to find it. This definitely fits her personality. She loves causing drama, so I'm not going to make a huge deal about it other than to tell her to take it back to BM's and warn her that any further pics of BM found in my home will end up in the shredder.
Does your dd have any pics of
Does your dd have any pics of your ex in your home?
I just asked her lol. She
I just asked her lol. She said to tell you all "not a single one." And CERTAINLY not of my wedding with DH. I think she might have a couple on facebook, though. I honestly haven't looked.