A little history: I met my current husband 25 years ago, we dated and broke up. He was married for 15 years and I was married for 17. We met again, married and we will be married 5 yrs. soon. When we were together 25 years ago we each had a dtr. (same age) they are both now 28 and doing well, married w/ children. I have a Son (22) he has a son (20). When I met him for the second time his son was 13 turning 14 so I had been trying to get him to take responsibility for himself, (cleaning up after self, washing hands when he gets home from school, washing hands after he goes to the BR,(even having to put a note on the BR door to please wash hands after flushing) brushing teeth. To this day I have seen him brush his teeth x2.
Anyway, he was never able to work in his HS years cuz he did so poorly in school, his Dad felt that he could not handle a job (he would take away video games, etc.). When he graduated HS his Dad thought he should have the summer off from working, REALLY!!!!!! Ok, here's another one, his Dad paid him $12 a week to feed the dog at 5 pm, everyday (and I'm not kidding, everyday) he had to be told to feed the dog. Now I don't know about anybody else, but when a kid has to be told to do something everyday for 6 years and still gets the $ there is something wrong with teaching responsibility!!!!! His Dad claimed it was not much money, I'm thinking that's not the point.
So over the Christmas season he gets a seasonal job, calls in 1-2 times a week, every week. Needless to say he was laid off after 7 weeks. Prior to him starting work my husband and I thought we would co-sign an apartment for his Son and my Son. I was very skeptical and sick to my stomach. He managed to pay 2 months of the rent (1/2) and 1 month of the utilities. My son had to pay the utilities for the rest of the months, (they have been in this apartment for 4 mo.). My Son would get home from work and his Son would be playing video games. He has not looked for a job, has not paid any bills, this months rent (his half) paid by my husband and myself.
This is what is going on in a nut shell, of course there is always more to the story. I am frustrated, my husband believes his Son has psychological problems (depressed) however, went to the Dr. not too long ago and told the Dr. he was not depressed, so we get a bill in the mail for $133, should we have to pay that?
So my husband and I have been butting heads about his behavior, lack of responsibility, non productive member of society, states he doesn't want to work because all he thinks about when he is at work is being at home doing nothing! I am trying to stop worrying about his behavior and let my husband deal with it. He does not live with us at this time and frankly if he did I would move out. He has since moved out of the apartment and is staying with his Mom. So guess who gets to pay another 1/2 the rent for March!