So I haven't blogged in a while, which I guess is a good thing. But here I am. We're taking BM back to court for a hopefully permanent change to the custody order, which she has violated about every clause in since it was entered a year ago. But this time, it's bad. We added a clause that states "no overnight guests of the opposite gender" in the last order. I know many here may not agree, and there are many live-ins on this site.

But, BM has moved 18 times in six years and frequently will meet a guy, date him for a week or two and move in with him and tell the kids they're getting married. So far her total is 2 convicted felons, 3 drug dealers, one gang banger, and one accused child molester. If she were stable, it wouldn't be a big deal, but given the history and how much it bothered the kids, we thought it was the best idea.

So she has moved in with her on again, off again BF who spent several years in prison for various felonies, and recently was charged with felony possession of cocaine, possession with intent to distribute marijuana, which he pled down to misdemeanor posession. He also was convcited of assaulting her two years ago. When she broke up with him before, she threatened suicide to my then 17 yo SD. This kicked off a year and a half legal battle in which she saw the kids two hours a week.

She told the kids SS15 and SD16 that she didn't care what the court order said, she was doing it anyway. Also that she had made her decision and it was up to them on whether they ever saw her again. And my personal favorite - I only see you 4 days a month and it's time for me to live my life. Also, she told them that she had to move in with him so she could save money to help them pay for college. She might consider starting by paying the $8500 in child support arrears, and actually spending some money on them again. She took SS15 for a haircut a few months ago (the second in 6 years) and when he needed it cut again, she told him that it was "our turn" She pays a whopping $151/month in child support (sometimes) and told the kids that we were getting her $4k tax refund this year and we had better "spend it on them".

So needless to say, the kids are really upset. They feel like their mom has chosen a man over them, which she has. I'm running out of things to say to make them feel better about this. They're old enough to know what this means. Right now they're mad, and in a few months she'll win them over again and she'll be the best thing since sliced bread and I'll be the bitch of a stepmother again. I'm so tired of this cycle. Will it ever end?

So, we're filing a motion for contempt and asking for her overnight weekend visitation to be suspended and instead EO Saturday 9am-8pm on a permanent basis since we only have 1 1/2 years until SD16 is 18. We're also filing for contempt on the psych treatment for her BPD/HPD she was court ordered to receive in 2008 and has never completed. And a motion for legal fees. And we'll be back for CS as soon as CSE gets their act together.

I just wonder if I have the strength/energy to go through all this again. I'm tired of ending up the bad guy because we go to court when she violates things because the kids don't want to see her, and then they change their mind when she starts paying attention to them again. The flip-flops drive me insane and I just don't get it no matter how hard I try to put myself in their shoes.

I just hope my marriage can survive all of this again. Things have been tough since our incident last year with SD21 trying to get the younger two taken away from us because "I'm so horrible". DH acts like it never happened, even though she's the one who tried to get him arrested by getting CPS on him last year. I'm still not having much to do with her unless forced and now she wants to be my friend. DH wants me to pretend nothing ever happened. How dare I not love her like he does? Yeah right, I just fell off the turnip truck.

Sorry for the rambling, just frustrated and not realy sure what to do next. Any advice, comments, etc.?