So me and my husband talked to his brother and he let us know that his fiancé’s kids are more than a handful and she doesn’t do enough to correct it. Not only that she gets mad if he says anything. So he’s completely hands off. They are her problem and he’s not talking them anywhere. She can handle them herself. If she can’t control them and won’t let him why would he keep trying? 

The biggest thing is when his kids aren’t there. His exact words to me is who really wants to go on vacation with someone else’s kids? I guess He wanted to go away with just her and have her mom watch her kids while his were gone, she was offended. Says He would never ask her to go away with just him and his. He doesn’t feel he needs to spend extra dad time with them when his aren’t there like she wants. He told her from day one she doesn’t have to parent his kids. He wouldn’t put that responsibility on her but she won’t return the favor. She tries to make him feel like he should be that same when his kids leave. He feels no connection and the fact that they are disrespectful make it worse. He says he loves her a lot but they only argue about her kids. 

I’m not in that situation so I can’t judge him. But I’m curious when A couple has kids but none together is there an expectation? If your step kids leave for a week do you expect your spouse to be exactly the same with yours? Does you take care of yours I’ll take care of mine work?