Father’s Day inconsiderate plans

2 posts in one day ! lol well this technically is not a post about my SK but more my SIL. I have had a rocky relationship with my MiL and SIL but as of late, things have been pretty smooth. That was until today! A few weeks ago SIL asked me when we would be celebrating DD4 birthday. I told her that although DDs real birthday is June 21 we would celebrate that Saturday which is June 22nd most likely early . I know that her daughter ( DH niece) has a birthday close to Father's Day and DDs birthday but I don't know when her actual birthday is. she made a comment how she wanted to celebrate her daughters birthday June 22 as well ( she is turning 21) I told her that DD party will be early if she still wanted to do her daughters birthday party later that day ( she has done this before) . I didn't hear anything more from SIL until today . She sends a group text to myself, DH and MiL saying "we are celebrating my daughters birthday June 16th, it's Father's Day , sorry to the fathers " my first thought was wow that's rude! I guess she doesn't care about her own husband who may want to celebrate that day with his 3 sons ( they aren't SILs children ) also her own brother who I have 3 kids with . I guess she figured since she has no dad and her daughters dad passed away when her daughter was 2 she doesn't really consider that day would be special! I took great offense to it since I still celebrate my dad always on that day ( he passed ) and I planned on doing something for DH as well. I don't really feel like it's right to say " screw you dads , we are celebrating my daughters 21st birthday on this day! " also why can't she do it on Saturday, why Sunday ? She has done this before years ago and I did not go to the party . I texted SIL on the side and let her k ow that day I had made plans with DH. Then she texted me back saying " were you still planning on doing DDs party on June 22nd?" I'm like wow okay so it's my fault, also she knew I was still doing DDs party that day, I had not sent her a text saying other wise . I just really think they need to stop being selfish when it comes to these type of holidays . They tried to do the same for Mother's Day. Just rubbed me the wrong way today

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When I turned 21 I was fully

When I turned 21 I was fully done with big family birthdays since I was an adult and on my own. The whole thing is wierd to me.

Oh well this girl, is treated

Oh well this girl, is treated like a little princess as well. She was the first grandchild so she is even more golden then SD . It's crazy how both SIL and her daughter like life resolves around them. I think when I turned 21 I just did dinner with my family and that was it. Also who wants to party like that on a Sunday ? Not me .

Stick To Your Plans

And send your regrets. No way would I miss out on celebrating Father's Day over a birthday party that could have been planned on a better date. And personally, I'd have just said that in the group text. "Awe. We already have plans made for the day."

She doesn't sound only

She doesn't sound only selfish; this is inconsiderate and rude. Family members are supposed to check in with one another, not dictate.

IMHO, it is not selfish.

IMHO, it is not selfish. Either for SIL to choose FD for her DD's 21st Bday, nor is it selfish for you to choose the Sat after your own BKs birthday.

Neither is is selfish for you and SIL's DH to not participate in a made up party date and instead engage their own BKs on Father's Day.

So, quit giving this person space in your head, define and announce your celebrations, and SIL can roll the dice and not have any one show up for her manipulative choice of Father's Day. She did solely to try to motivate you to give up June 22nd for your own kids Bday party.

Don't give up your family's Father's Day or your DK's birtday.

Categorize people by their actions and never be fooled by their words. SIL fails both in action and in words. Not your problem.

Yup I think you are right ,

Yup I think you are right , she expected me to give up June 22nd of my DDs birthday so her daughter could have the whole day for her party . NOPE ! I let them know that june 22nd remains for DDs party at schedule time and Father's Day we have plans . Move around . Which they did and instead they our doing a dinner on SIL daughters actually birthday which is June 18th. MIL had to make a passive aggressive comment "oh I thought one weekends was gonna be for SIL daughter and their other weekend was for DD" well MiL what you think and was is actually reality is 2 different things . I never signed up for my life to revolve around SIL daughter . They can do as they please but to me ONE weekend is Father's Day and the other is my DD birthday.