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jstorie's picture

So I am a step mother to a 14 year old girl. She had been diagnosed bipolar and adhd. She has been in the hospital every summer for four years. this time she went to dhs and said i was abusive that i choke her all the time. she then decided to start cutting up her legs. she went to the hospital again this time only for a month. she screams and yells and pushes me. when she came back from the hospital she was the same go figure. so i told my husband me or her. yeah a bitch move on me. so he sent her to the live with her aunt far away. That should make me happy right? Well my daughter is doing great there! no yelling no lying no stealing no threatning suicide...i should be happy right? why am i so pissed off that shes doing great there? she just made the last five years hell. going to counsling twice a week for five years! five hospitalizations! fighting over everything everyday? so will i ever be happy?

Comments

just.his.wife's picture

Honeymoon period.

Wait until she gets in trouble the first time... or really gets comfortable and lets her real self show

misSTEP's picture

Either that or she is so determined to make you the scapegoat that she is forcing herself to behave.

kathc's picture

^^^^^^^^^^THIS^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Either she's still "playing nice" because it's new and they're still eating up that everything was your fault or she's just really determined to make it look like your fault. She'll show herself eventually.

Jsmom's picture

It was all about you. Once she left the environment she is doing great. Don't buy it. My SD18 was that way after she left us and went to BM. Fast forward a few years and she barely graduated and is bi-polar, un-medicated and considered trash by many in town.

It all catches up, we just do not have to be involved when it does.

DaizyDuke's picture

I agree! GBM would tell DH that SD16 was a brat for her. Would yell at her, sass her, lie etc. Apparently, SD16 and BM1 even had a couple knock down drag outs where the police had to be called. When SD16 first moved in with us, we didn't see any of that for about 6 months. But she couldn't hold it together any longer than that. She's progressively been getting more bold, more mouthy.

SD16 is also VERY good at putting on a show for people outside of the family. Like scary good. Her little friend's parents tell DH how WONDERFUL SD is! A couple of her teachers have told DH how WONDERFUL SD is. Well that's because she likes you and you haven't crossed her and she wants something from you.

In my opinion, these girls that are manipulative and able to turn on the charm at will are the scariest!

Accordn2L's picture

How long has she been at the Aunt's house? Just give it time and her real colors will shine through.

jstorie's picture

thats one reason im upset is y am i upset? shouldn't i be happy shes there? and i get alittle while to calm myself and other kids? i just don't know how to let it go...

jstorie's picture

yeah she has only been there two months, but the problems she left at my house are still going on my four year old saying he wants to kill himself when he gets in trouble, or the you sent my sissy away and the dhs still comming to my house checking in. yeah she is up there no one competing for attention so she is the center of attention.... i feel like we just gave in gave her what she wanted, then theres the part of me that says we could of done better. she actually said we never do anything fun we never vacation... i lost it and cried and said yeah for the past four years you have spent the entire summer and mental hospitals!!!! tell me how we can vacation!

fakemommy's picture

This is why you're mad and I don't blame you. She's all hunky dory while you're still dealing with the repercussions of her actions. It won't last on her end and will only improve on yours.

jstorie's picture

yeah two little boys two year old doesn't see anything going on... but my four year old looks up to her. and all he saw is that she and I always yelled... a little shaming but she knew what buttons to push and i fell right in... big problem was being 25 and having a 14 year old. one day for skipping school i asked how should you be punished she said kick me out.

jstorie's picture

SO now a home called and said shes finally able to go to one with theraputic setting but since she doing GREAT at her rich aunts house they won't send her.