Blowing off some steam...
After a very intense and traumatic couple of days (too long to go into details) all I have to say is this is fucked up! 
LOL being a stepmom is fucked up! lol, pardon my "french" but that is the honest truth this shit is fucked...
Sigh! I'm by no means at the end of my rope or thinking on running for my life, but I'm frustrated as hell. How can you not take lying to your face personally? 
How can I keep perspective and be a responsible parent to children (SD8, SS6) that lie to my face and then when daddy dearest gets around to asking the same questions he gets the real story? That shit ain't right.
I guess I have become after all the Wicked Evil Stepmother }:) and that makes me really sad, because when I joined this clan I didn't expect to be more than just a friend to this children, HA! little did I know that I'd have to be a "parent" figure whether I wanted or not, I was so naive.... :?
Ok, I'm done bitching for now, hugs and love to all of you out there keeping up the good fight, I feel like we are all comrades in a fucked up war.
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BREATHE baby!!
I know you probably DON'T want to hear this right now but I'm gonna say it anyway...
My son is 7...he started the lying thing when he was about 5. Then when his father would ask him for the truth,he'd spill his guts to him. My stepdaughter often lies to get out of trouble and I'm the ONLY one who knows she's lying because DH doesn't want to see that side of his daughter. He chooses not to acknowledge it and ignorance is bliss. So...to ease your frustration if at all possible...just know the lying thing isn't exclusive to skids and neither is the "tell the truth to one parent only" thing. Although,somehow, it's WAY more irritating when a skid lies than when your own child lies because their are those stupid little "i can't punish you in the way I'd punish my own kid" guidelines.
The best way I've found to deal with my sd11 is just step off. I'm there to fix meals, play with her when DH is around to be a cushion, and answer her questions when she has them. Other than that...I let the PARENTS do the job and THEY can deal with whatever she becomes. Why waste your precious time being a parent to a child who doesn't want you? It's fruitless labor with no reward. If my stepdaughter wanted me as a mother type figure I would totally be there for her...but she doesn't need me. I'm just the annoying third wheel in that parenting unit. So I back off from parenting and don't have to deal with the consequences of what she becomes.
Work out your own salvation. Do not depend on others. ~Buddha
Thank you
For the perspective and to be honest that's how I feel too, I feel that my only responsibility to these children are to make sure they are safe, and fed when they are with me; but unfortunately DH is out of the house right now so much that he is counting on me to be a parent and help him out, because of my current situation(not being able to work at the moment) he can't be the only parent.
So, I'm stuck in this position until I'm able to work again and it sucks! But, you are right, though, I'm wasting my time and energy; I think I need to disengage regardless of how much can DH be around to parent right now the fact remain that these are not my children and they don't want me as a parent AND I don't want to parent them either, so the feeling is mutual
wow
i had a totally different experience --- apparently skids are afraid of me --- b/c i do fly off the handle and they know it..... but sd11 at the time stole from my purse --- waited until we went to bed and stole from my purse --- I WAS LIVID... the little bitch lied to DH, lied to BM, swore on a bible to "grammaw" who as she stated grew up with the fear of god! anyhoo, i told DH to make her apologize anyway, b/c i knew she did it....... well it happened on a wed night and it was an off weekend so we didn't see the little bitch until the following wed. so i'm sure she thought it would blow over as does everything else -- but NO WAY ---- so dh does tell her to come apologize to me --- and i'm staring her down with pure evil and she broke down and wouldn't stop crying and i said why did you do it, etc... my point is for a week she lied thru her fucking teeth 2 seconds with me and she folded like a napkin...... then bm found stolen gift cards in sd's garbage can wrapped up in millions of plastic bags......oh and then i required an apology letter since she wouldn't answer me --- oh boy the hate mail i found in the room --but finally got my letter and dh & myslef told her you know now nobody trusts you and if anything is missing -- you're the first person we'll look at.......so to date ---- 1 1/2 later i keep my purse in my room....... and you're right stepparenting sucks donkey dicks.....