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jenniferfgar's picture

I was shocked when I came across this page and excited to know im not the only one with a step brat. I love the girl but the way she acts blows my mind. She is about to be 4 and acts 2. I have a 4 year old and she never did half the stuff I see my sd doing. She wont say what she wants, just points and cries. Her dad and I barley correct her and she puts her fingers in her mouth, puts her head down and cries. On top of that she has no manners. Instead of answering a question with yes or no, its UH UH and with a rude tone behind it. She is just now starting to potty train. I dont know what to do. My husband makes excuses for her and we're constantly fighting about it. Makes me just want to leave when she is her. Any advice would be great. I love my husband but I cant handle it.

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DaizyDuke's picture

It sounds like your 4 year old SD is severely delayed. Has BM or Dad had her tested? What do Dr.'s say? If she needs help and nobody is helping her, you can hardly blame HER for her poor behavior.

jenniferfgar's picture

Every time I mention it her dad gets mad. BM was screwed up as a kid so she thinks its ok. I asked her dad if we could take her to the dr and he tells me not to worry about his kid so im just stuck dealing with it. But I am at wits end w it. Sometimes sd is fine and others not so idk.

the_stepmonster's picture

This sounds familiar. I thought for sure my SD4 was delayed and possibly had some sort of learning disability. Come to find out she was just severely babied and coddled since she spent most of her time with her grandmother. She would also just point and cry when she wanted something. She would only eat rice pudding or cheese refused to eat anything else. I can still hear her voice calling out ("cheese? cheese? cheese? cheese?") over and over again. She would cry over any little thing and immediately SD9 would run to her and pick her up, which of course made her cry more. Finally, when DH was not around, I would make her ask me in a complete sentence before giving her a treat. When she took a little tumble and wailed I told her she was okay and she would stop.

More than likely, your SD has learned this behavior from being coddled too much. Even though you can't do anything about when she is not with you, she will learn that she cannot get away with these antics in your home, similar to how kids learn that they need to behave at school or daycare at that age. You have to be consistent in how you allow her to act in your home. I never talked to DH about it, knowing he would just get defensive, I just began to ask her nicely to repeat a complete sentence after me. I don't treat her badly, but I do try and reinforce the be a big girl strategy. It's worth a try...