It has been quite some time since my last blog. I am saddened by even reading through the past blogs that I have posted. Since the last blog, things with my SD who just turned 15 have spun completely out of control and has since decided to keep herself out of our lives. The thing that happened was that once report card time came near, my DH and I received several phone calls from SDs teachers informing us that she had several missing assignments and was risking failing if the assignments were not turned in. That same day I picked up SD from school and took her to her orthodontist appointment. She was in a great mood that day! Talking normal, we were having great conversation and then I dropped her off at her sisters concert, her sister from BM. Later that night DH called BM to discuss the teachers phone calls, and also to give SD a heads up on what needed to get done. Well...things went horribly wrong, and why I don't quite understand. BM yelled and scolded SD and in the mist of all this yelling, she told SD if she couldn't bring the grades up and get her "crap" together then she would have to start going back to our house so that we could keep up with her grades. So basically, we were being used as the punishment. Well, SD had a major major fit. And told her BM if she forced her to come back here that she would run away. She said MANY MANY lies, told BM that I force her to call me Mom, and that we are abusive and that we compare her to the other children and call her names, and on and on and on. Well, of course BM was FUMING angry and decided that we would no longer be seeing SD until the time isright because she cant afford to have her runaway. So, DH tried doing the whole father daughter talk, and SD was just being completely spiteful. So, as much as he tried he wasn't allowed any communication. This happened on Dec. 17 and we have only seen her once, by accident. She pretended everything was normal,and nothing was wrong. DH spoke to her and let her know that we love her and would love to have her back in the picture, but only if she is willing to be a part of our family all the time and follow the rules that we have. Our children miss her desperately, and I feel horrible that they cannot see her. She has called them once, and they have called her several times, also sent her items by mail. When we saw her it was insanely hard for me but I told her that I cant let her hurt them anymore. They were there when she said all these horrible accusations about me and their dad, and they saw and see the affect it has had on me. I was devastated. Completely heartbroken. And still am. I miss her terribly and if it hurts me this much, I cant even imagine how much heartache my DH feels. He pretends hes ok. And we haven't fought much with BM or SD about "forcing" her to be with us. She's made her decision, and seems to be fine with it. Of course she is back to failing school, and we now have no say in helping her pass. We would always check her grades online, and would forward the information to her Mom, since all of this her BM doesnt want to know anything about the grades and has not attempted to make her own account to keep track of them. We are hoping that after report cards come out that she will realize that we were helping her and that she was only throwing a major fit to get what she wanted. Staying home alone after school, with no one on her case about school work. Since all of this, I kind of just stopped what I had been doing, I would attend church with her every sunday, we would go to every dental appointment, and I would keep up with all her teachers. I guess I've dettached myself? DH still sends child support of course, and continues to pay her braces, and all other responsibilities he has toward her. He just doesn't get to see or talk to her. I am not sure if we are doing the right thing, I don't know how we would even know what the right thing is. Things are so different without her, it always feels like something is missing. Well, I just had to vent...I don't know anyone else personally who has dealt with anything similar. Thankyou all for listening:)