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itsonlyme26's picture

Submitted by itsonlyme26 on Fri, 11/25/2011 - 5:31pm

Hello,

This is my first time blogging on this website...let me just get straight to the point.I have been in this relationship for 4 yrs and we have a child together and I have a child from a previous relationship.A couple of days after we starting dating he informed me that he had two daughter from a previous relationship.This was coming from a guy who USED to work (had a very good paying job) and he seemed like he took full responsibility for his children when he had them on the weekends.Later on in the relationship after I became pregnant,I began to find things out about him.He was not as responsible or reliable as I thought (he had been putting on a good front just to impress me and it worked)...His family knew this all along but kept it from me hoping that I would be the one to "change his ways" or "open up his eyes".The fact of the matter is that he is unemployed and I'm taking full responsibility for my two children and on top of that he expects me to do the same for his daughters.I feed him,buy him clothes and give him money sometimes when he asks for it to go "job hunting".There's even times when I struggle to the point where I can't pay my phone bill to buy groceries.On top of all this,he brings his daughters over while he's not supplying any food or money for any expenses and when their mom asks him for money he says "I'll see what I can do" rather than saying "I have no money,I don't work"....what,does he expect me to pay child support too??? So,everytime he even mention bringing his daughters over,I begin to notice my attitude changes.I become snappy and annoyed at everything they do.BTW they are ages 10&7.Whenever I even get the oppurtunity to buy my kids anything (not that I get that chance very often because I have so much on my hands) his step daughters get bothered and start to act jealous.The oldest would make comments if she sees my kids wearing something new or if I buy them a toy or something she releases so much attitude and she wants to be the one holding her dads hand while we're holding hands walking and sleep on the same bed with him...what the heck?? someone give me some advice please :/

Comments

emotionaly beat up's picture

Submitted by emotionaly beat up on Fri, 11/25/2011 - 6:17pm

Itsonlyme26,

God I hope you are not only 26. You should not be going through this. My best advice to you would be to read your own post and ask yourself, if your mother, your sister, best friend or someone you loved were in this situation what would you want them to do. Then do it. He is a loser, sorry. The fact that you are supporting him, his kids and his ex wife is helping him to stay a loser. You will need to somehow pull back. The money you earn stays in your home, feeds YOUR kids, and pays your bills. He needs to support his previous and his current family, but you know in your heart of hearts he is not going to. Go home baby, you deserve far better than this. Smile You and the kids can make it without him, I don't know if you will make it with him. Good Luck.

shielded2009's picture

Submitted by shielded2009 on Fri, 11/25/2011 - 6:28pm

Wow!

Hugs to you...

I don't know your full story in depth, but honestly...it appears he hit the jackpot with you...You didn't mention (or I don't remember reading) if you all were married or not. If you're not married...I'd DEFINITELY keep it that way...

Honestly, there are men (people in general) out there who really don't have a desire to work or take care of their responsibilities...My dad is one of those people...He NEVER took care of his children...He bounced from woman to woman, and pimped them all...A couple he married...Most he didn't...But he never paid for anything...No rent...no utilities...nothing...He even pawned his kids off on the women...I stayed MANY nights with said girl friend or step mother while he "did his thing"...He took advantage of that "fix it" or provider instinct that many women have...He sounds like my dad...

Conversely, I'm married to a man who would scrub toilets for minimum wage if he had to in order to take care of his family...He'd NEVER allow anybody to take care of him or his responsibility...He doesn't have much, but he gives 100% and takes care of his kids...

I don't regularly tell a woman to run like hell, but I smell a pimp...and I would run like hell...and NOT feel guilty...

Also...something that smacks me as strange is that he didn't tell you he had children until a couple of days after you started dating?? DATING...Not a couple of days after you MET...That's not excusable...When I ever dated a man with children, that information was delivered within the first conversation...Seriously...What REAL parent isn't overjoyed and proud about their kids? Even more, what HONEST person would keep that type of information from somebody? I smell a rat...A pimp rat...