invisible to SD
so. BD is out of town. SD already doesnt talk to me, barely tells me hello. She is 17, been in her life for 7 years. I thought it would get easier, or atleast better, but the older she gets the more I am not a person......I get so frustrated. I have tried, and so tired of trying. I love my husband (BD) but sometimes I dont know if I can last another year with her ignoring me and manipulating her dad.....it makes me so sad.
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then make yourself happy and
then make yourself happy and ignore her too.
I have actually been working
I have actually been working on that. I read the book "the happiness project" and found it helpful. I dont mind ignoring her so much, but when DH is out of town, I have to be responsible for her...she is 17. I cant wait until she moves out.......and this year has been especially hard, my DD started college and is out of state, my DD and I are close....its tuff to go from someone who is sweet and talks openly to me, is respectful to being totally disrespected and ignored.
I do have to say that I'm
I do have to say that I'm sorry you are having to deal with your daughter flying the nest as the same time as your ungrateful turd of an SD! How does your DH expect you to handle her while he's away?
What do you have to do for
What do you have to do for her that she can't do for herself? She's 17 so there really shouldn't be too much that you "have to be responsible for"...surely she can do her own laundry, make herself something to eat & ensure that she drinks enough to stay hydrated?
How long is your DH out of town for?
For now though...just remember to breath.
I really dont have to do
I really dont have to do anything for her, I just dont trust her or her friends. you make good points though. thank you.
I'd feel blessed if my SD
I'd feel blessed if my SD ignored me. It would make it so much easier to ignore her.
invisisble, she's being cruel
invisisble, she's being cruel to you. It bothers you and she knows it. That's her goal, to be mean and get to you. Stop playing her game.
Sane, healthy, caring people don't act like she does. You're dealing with an illness that there seems to be no cure. So you must treat her as the sickness she exudes, and while still being kind, you keep a great distance from her.
There's been 7 years to get to know you. She chooses to be cold. Face it, you've got a strange, not even fascinating, just oddball stepdaughter. She's not friendly, she's not likable, she lacks common manners. She's not someone you'd choose to hang out with. But, alas, because she is your husband's child, the mopey mop of a mess is in your presence.
Stop going out of your way for her. Be polite, and show no interest in her or her activities. Do not waste anymore time or energy with the insensitive self-centered nowhere breathing blob of jello. She hasn't earned your respect or you attention. So give her the space she wants and do things for yourself. Remember, she has not EARNED your care or respect.
It's just a game with the scraunch.....don't play it. Just accept that she's not worth any time to put into her.
"There's been 7 years to get
"There's been 7 years to get to know you. She chooses to be cold. Face it, you've got a strange, not even fascinating, just oddball stepdaughter. She's not friendly, she's not likable, she lacks common manners. She's not someone you'd choose to hang out with. But, alas, because she is your husband's child, the mopey mop of a mess is in your presence."
Ditto to this. I'm in the same boat as you, but with two teenage SS's. Been like this since day ONE. I quit trying a long time ago. Yes, I do wish things could be different but obviously it's not my choice and regardless of what others think/say, No, I don't have control over it. It's not a matter of ME trying harder or making the effort. Their behavior is THEIR decision. And others close to our family (my extended family, my DH's parents) see it for everything it truly is. I became much happier once I stopped letting it bother me.