1. You are not a baby anymore.  Talk like a G'damn human being and quit with the "miwk, dwink, pway, gwass, wub, etc" before I go insane.  Most kids do this in single digit years.  You started talking like a moron at 10. 

2. Flush. Your. F'ing. Toilet-paper.  I understand it is hard to un-wire 8 years of BM (TP wrecks the pipes!!!) out of  your head. But for the love-of-God STOP throwing your piss-shyt-stained-TP in the GARBAGE CAN!!! IT STINKS!! WE HAVE 1 BATHROOM!!

3. You turn 11 this month.  You are smart, I KNOW you are.  Yet you have just started calling DH "DADEEEEE" in a whiny voice.  It would have been cute if you were still 3..or even 6.  You are almost 11 and picked up this awful baby-talk habit at 10?? WTF is wrong with you.

4. You are the reason we live in a crappy home in a bad neighborhood because BM can't drive. No license, just a state I.D.  Thanks to CS and your unnecessary THOUSANDS in "medical bills" courtesy of BM, we couldn't afford the house we (you included, SS) deserve. To help DH with the cost of picking your a$$ up and dropping you off all the damn time we're forced to settle on this crappy two bedroom 1 bath house because it is 20 minutes away from the 5 bdrm 3 bathroom palace that you and BM wouldn't have if DH didn't have the credit he did.  You would also have a larger bedroom....a feat in itself considering out of the FIVE bedrooms at BM house..you are NOT ALLOWED to have a room of your own and must share with BM.  I wonder what age you will be when it becomes awkward.... 

5. if you didn't exist we wouldn't have had to spend over 10k on lawyers back and forth to force BM to allow DH to even see you (contrary to what she says, DH loves you and wants to see you)....and to force BM to refinance the stupid house she doesn't qualify for.  She would have NOTHING if DH name wasn't on everything as the primary.  BM has a higher paying job now, and we still had to pay ANOTHER lawyer to force her to refinance to get DH name off the mortgage.  This has been an on-going battle for 8 years and is still going on because she doesn't make enough money to have the home in just her name.  If she had just ONE of her family members (that have been living in that house since before DH left) help her by signing on the refinance, she would be fine.  But she refuses.  Now it's more money, more lawyers, more time off work for court.

6. We would love to take more trips with you...if you were even open to enjoying ANY activity other than an electronic.  If we don't bring electronics, you pout and throw tantrums.  You hate the outdoors, and have ridden the BRAND NEW BIKE you just HAD TO HAVE this past summer a total of TWO TIMES.  Forget the fact that I finance EVERYTHING and DH owes me hundreds...I'm so frigging happy you got that bike!  It will make a GREAT addition to my garden decorations when you grow out of it and demand a new one...

7. You have no chores, no responsibility, and it shows.  You don't change your clothes unless told, don't bathe unless told, never brush your teeth, don't pick up anything and leave your used dishes all over the house.  I'm debating hiding all the cups in the house to prevent you from grabbing a new "gwass" every time you want "some-fing to dwink".

8. I never thought that I'd be married to a man that became a completely different, guilt-ridden parent when you are around.  I though we would have an "us baby" and you would be the fun older brother and we would all be one happy family going camping/road trips and doing things together.  Now, we can't even think about having a child because we can't afford a bigger house or trips with the $400+ CS and monthly expenses you bring on.  "daddy guilt" makes DH spend money he doesn't have (ex $400+ bday party last year), and he buys you crap you don't need (new bike) with no special occasion like a birthday or Christmas.  People that say "you just make it work" um no...that's not how it works for us.  I would be paying for this child on my own, while DH would dote on SS and the daddy guilt would take over even more.  BM already told SS that "SHE (me) is the reason daddy isn't with us anymore" even though they were separated over 6 months before we even MET.  BM also told DH that if he ever had a child with me, she would never let him see SS again and SS would never know them as a sibling.

9. The latest game:  You are always coming over to our house on our visitation weekends with some type of illness.  I could lysol everything, however DH doesn't enforce hand-washing as soon as you walk through the door. BM will then call DH with a list of demands that he buy you for your "illness"....and will have already taken you to the doctor for no reason.  This leads to more "surprise!" medical bills in the mail that she refuses to pay for.  Lucky for BM that DH was forced to cover SS on his insurance.  Problem is, thanks to BM making more money, she was kicked off state healthcare and doesn't understand why she has to help pay for SS bills when the state used to cover her portion.  She also won't stop taking SS to the doctor. We have over 25 bills for a WART...considered a "cosmetic procedure"...DH paid $250 for the first three visits and warned BM that there will be no more visits, they can buy something over the counter.  BM refused....kept bringing SS to appointments without telling DH.  Now she doesn't understand why DH isn't "sharing the bill".

10. I do not hate you SS.  I hate that you aren't mine yet I am obligated to help DH with finances because of you, and I hate that you are a product of two people that couldn't work it out.  Maybe you wouldn't be such a PIA if both your parent's could stop feeling guilty, oh and if BM could stop using you as a weapon to hurt DH that would be awesome.  I hope she realises she isn't doing you any favors either by not teaching you how to grow up.  I hope you don't suck as a teen.  You were already caught stealing candy and small toys at age 9, and your homework problems are driving me up the wall.  Please get your act together.  You have too much potential to pretend to be this dumb.